Space...suicide isn't an option. Really, take it from me - someone who's tried and failed (durr) before. You only get one crack at life, and however terrible you are feeling, you've got to keep that in mind. If you do the big one, there's no coming back...no hope. It may be a quick end to your suffering, but who's to say that tomorrow won't be a better day? You don't, and won't suffer from this forever, I promise. With the right frame of mind, with or without meds, you can beat this. And when you do, you'll be mightily relieved that you didn't top yourself.
In some ways I am like yourself. I used to have a fantastic life - I had everything, women of my dreams, tons of money, great job and friends, and slowly over the last couple of years I've systematically destroyed it. Now I'm a 33 year old divorcee who lives in his mums spare room in the middle of f*****g nowhere, no job, no money, very few friends, latent anxiety, and very little to look forward to. I'm probably addicted to benzo's (I don't give a s**t at the moment), and am prone to rages and terrible mood swings. I also have acute myaloid leaukemia. No hope? But I still do. There is still hope, and a lot of pleasure/fun/excitement to get out of life. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next month, but sometime. And I'm going to stay alive to enjoy it. F**k, be selfish !!! Be selfish enough to want to live....
It's like the film says - get busy living, or get busy dying. If you think about it, it's not a choice is it ?
Get proper help now, and get back here as soon as you feel well enough.