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I don't know if this is because all of the meds i'm on but does anyone get suicidal thoughts when their DP is at its worst?
 

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Absolutely. When I feel at my worst I think suicide is always the answer. Its just at that certain time you're feeling your lowest, so you're bound to have a whole heap of shitty thoughts that pass through your mind. You just sort of have to push through it, and reassure you that soon you will be feeling okay and back to yourself again. This happend to me when I started on meds, it made me extremely suicidal, so unbareable that I decided not to take them anymore, and I feel like i've been in a better place ever since.
Keep trucking through, you'll make it
 

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yep, i got them also and now have it more as an whole feeling of discomfort and not wanting to live life in this state...
 

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yes it seems the brain is looking for a way out of this wretched disorder, because we all know how terrible living with this is. but it is not an option, to violate your own existence like that and for those around you is a disgrace to your consciousness and this existence. as much as this is almost unbearable, it is better knowing that you lived your life here and lived with this and was able to cope with it, rather then taking the easy way out. as long as your able to function thats all that fucking matters.
 

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absolutely. when I'm dp/dr'd out of my fucking mind and the lowest as low goes it's feels soooo tempting. only for a short while, but still. it's scary.
 

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I definitely had feelings of suicide, but my mind can't comprehend the existence (or non-existence) past suicide, so it doesn't let me do it. Weird paradox, but I'm glad I didn't pull the trigger.

Hang in there!
 

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Yeah Christ when I first had it I was screaming at my parents to let me top myself and everything I walked past a knife a car anything that could end it was so tempting because I didint know what was going on
 

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I never get thoughts like this. My will to live is to strong. I realize that you only get one life. There is no coming back once it's over. My focus is on just getting better so that I can enjoy things like I once did.
 
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yeah. when i was dp'd it's all i ever thought about. Constantly, it was the only way out...i thought about suicide in a practical way, i didn't fear it at all, i thought to myself, if life is going to keep going on like this, i would rather end it.. stay strong.
 

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A beautiful girl like you should not be thinking about suicide..

Those thoughts are coming from the dark unknown portion of your mind trying to suck you into it's own ignorance. Listen to the more positive thoughts learn to appreciate the little things don't frustrate yourself by going to war with yourself. The enemy only wants you to die, you have to survive because you are not your own worst enemy are you ?
 

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I sometimes feel like that, don't think I actually want to die just want it to stop. Sometimes I wish someone would knock me out for a few weeks to escape it.
 

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Yes
just ideations and fantasies, not concrete plans. Just because the thought of living like this a second longer is unbearable
 

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I have had similar thoughts.
When my DP is at its worst, I am eerily aware of my own existence. things like "how is a thought thought of?", or that you can only percieve the world through your five senses, which somehow gets me into solipsism thoughts, and eventually existing itself becomes uncomfortable. Then i wonder if not existing would be more comfortable.

but then my mind rationalizes with thoughts like this:

"You can't be aware of being unconscious, since awareness requires consciousness. If you go into a coma, you won't know it. You will remember the time leading up to the coma, and the moment you woke back up, but you won't know anything about being IN the coma until someone tells you or shows you visual evidence (pictures, medical records etc)"

So suicide would be defeating the purpose, since you wouldn't know about being dead. If your goal is to not exist, you can't possibly know what its like. So in a sense, you can only be aware of yourself living. Killing yourself would probably just make you exist again in what seems like a split second, or blinking.

The only thing you can do is choose to be positive or negative in the present moment, since thats all you can live in anyway.
It doesn't make it any easier though. I think we all need to accept the DP as part of us and move on, and it will leave. It feeds on doubt, insecurity, and fear.

Just before I typed this up, i had DP really bad since my parents are out seeing a movie. I felt alone, the "what ifs" started, and then BAM, dp. But then i read things on this forum and just the act of communicating with others made it go away. Sometimes distraction can shock you out of it too (take a really cold shower or watch some stand up comedy or something)

We are physically real, and aren't alone
We are all part of the same race, and are here to help eachother.
 
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