[Kingnick]

Hello all. Thanks for taking time to read this. For starters I'm 18 years old, just graduated high school, I have a broken leg currently (this will be important later in my story). This may be lengthy but it's somewhat interesting so hang in there. I have no prior records or experience with mental illness, in fact I've always considered myself to be pretty mentally strong. So one night I was out with friends partying. Doing the usual thing, smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol. Now I'd consider myself experienced with both of those things. Felt normal throughout the night, then when I came home and laid down in bed, my mind began racing, thoughts about death, the world etc. and I think I had somewhat of a panic attack. I woke up the next morning very disoriented, I don't get hangovers really so I knew I was just feeling weird. Like everything wasn't real. My house felt strange, my parents didn't seem real, like I obviously know they're real but they just didn't seem like it. It's been four days and I think it's getting better, either that or I'm getting used to it. I still have little moments where I get anxiety now if I think about it too hard, which I've never had any form of anxiety previously. I also feel like the world is meaningless now, and people aren't really real. This freaks me out the most because I was the kid that was always saying the opposite of that like "man you just gotta live there's so much to life!" This is where my broken leg comes in, ever since I broke it I've been doing about 10% of the things I usually do. I was always active before my injury, sporty, outgoing, but ever since my episode, I feel like that version of me is dead and it scares me to death.
I might need surgery on my leg which also scares me. I feel like I'm going crazy which Ik is a symptom of DP, but I've honestly cried the past two nights, and I don't have any suicidial thoughts which I'm assuming are good signs? I've always been an over thinker, maybe now it's caught up to
me. So to summarize, I think this is marijuana induced, along with me hiding my fears. I just want the old me back, this is the scariest thing I've ever been through.

 

[Mirato]

Hey nick. Thanks for sharing your story. I had a similar panic attack/breakdown January. I'm still recovering. Yeah this sucks big time. I feel like 50% of the person I used to be. Just take one day at a time. A lot of my symptoms have improved. For three months I literally felt like I was dying 24/7. It's a miracle that I'm feeling much better. Honestly never thought I would. Still feel out of body, and having racing thoughts constantly in the background.
One minute, one hour at a time. We will get through this.

 

[Vegan]

It seems like the weed got your thoughts going to scary places which got you panicking. Panicking for the first time is really disconcerting and you wonder 'what else is gonna happen?' 'will I go crazy?' etc. Did things feel unreal when you were panicking/having racing thoughts?

 

[Justbeingascrub]

Im on the same boat as you man but in my case it was due to a hallucination I had in which my vision made me have a panic attack. Hard to describe but it was like seeing a movie frame by frame very slowly which was terrible and made me panic. So i tried going to sleep and thought it would just rub off the next day. I just hope the weed won't have any very long term effects due to the fact i was smoking daily. But i wish you the best of luck in your recovery.

 

[Grindelwald]

Same with me. And yes it is absolutely marijuana induced. I felt really good today though. Seems to come and go for me but I feel like I'm really close to being 100% recovered. Of course, every time I think that it comes back. ????