[Guest]

Hi Guys
Hope you all had a Happy Easter. I went on holiday & had an ok time. Lets just say that my expectations weren't met with what the travel agent proclaimed!

Hmmmm, :? I was just about to say that during the holiday & now I have a little derealisation. Only in the sense that I feel a little down & my head feels like cotton wool & I am thinking alot about mental illness & watching for the signs.

After writing this I can see that maybe just because my expectations weren't met on this trip is why I have reacted this way. Maybe that is why I have the dr.

Anyways, my friends keep saying stop just wishing you will be over this cause you are stuck with it for life. They have it as well, one with anxiety & one with depression.

So my question to the wise ones, are we stuck with this for life? Is it a case of managing it so it gets to a point where it is non existent for a time & then might come back at a lesser degree?

Janine tells me that her symptoms are gone, completely no problems.

Is recovery what I am experiencing or am I still sick?

 

[Depersonalized]

No we are not stuck with this for the rest of the life(otherwise it would be for the rest of existance ).Don't worry, one day it is all gonna be clear again.
Your friends obviously dont have it, there is no way you can feel depressed and DP at the same time. DP is a lack of feelings and a loss of personal ego, depression is a feeling of an overwhelming sadness.

 

[Guest]

Thanks depersonalised but I actually had dp/dr & depression all at the same time. Sad but true.

I am fine, happy enough to be where I am at the moment in recovery but also wanting to be better, to be normal. I have weeks of normal & days of yuck & then I am normal again etc - goes round & round. I guess I have had a taste of freedom from this & I want it all.

Just wondering if that is possible?

 

[Guest]

yea some of us are gonna have it for life

 

[Inflammed]

I agree with Johnny...
Some might not be able to get out of it, some might.
Each case is soooo different.
For me it comes and goes...always less and less, always getting better...
Because I actually did something to help myself concretly.

 

[person3]

OMG

Don't listen to your fucking dipshit friends.

Ok...one of them has depression. A symptom of depression is the thought that it is never going to go away. That's a SYMPTOM OF DEPRESSION.

Another friend has anxiety, you say. Well anxious people can sometimes be rather uptight, quick to judge, etc (look at me!), and have their own issues on why THEY can't get out of THEIR mess.

Depression, anxiety, depersonalization, derealization: you can get out of all those things. They are just states of mind like happiness and sadness.

But that they are so unpleasant we dwell on "Is this ever going to to away!", thus perpetuating it. The more scared we are of how we feel, the longer it stays. It's like someone scolding themselves because they can't stop mourning a loved one. Well the scolding is not going to help, the mind is just going to rebel and be MORE mournful! Everything needs to go through its course, and by the way Charger if you have already FORGOTTEN you have had fantastic moments free of DP/DR. The recovery process is a cycle. It gets better and then you have setbacks, because basically not everything in your brain is ironed out yet. It just takes time. Once you have addressed the real issues, your brain which is used to the DP/DR state is going to need some time to normalize.

Tell your friends to fuck off.

 

[Guest]

OMG

Don't listen to your f--- dipshit friends.

Ok...one of them has depression. A symptom of depression is the thought that it is never going to go away. That's a SYMPTOM OF DEPRESSION.

Another friend has anxiety, you say. Well anxious people can sometimes be rather uptight, quick to judge, etc (look at me!), and have their own issues on why THEY can't get out of THEIR mess.

Depression, anxiety, depersonalization, derealization: you can get out of all those things. They are just states of mind like happiness and sadness.

well some people never get rid of their anxiety or depression so they cant move on to get rid of the bigger things like dp and dr. I just think it depends on how much of each symptom you have and what you do with your symptoms.

 

[Guest]

I know they weren't "polite" or particularly sensitive, but I thought person3's comments were just brilliant, lol.....

Okay, Charger. Listen up. (I've known Charger for a long time, so if I sound harsh here, I know she forgives me!). Do you have to live like this forever? Is that REALLY your question? Because clearly NOBODY can answer that for anyone, so let's assume that's not the real question, but a "sneaky" or trick question that you posted - to avoid having to really ask the real one, grin.

Maybe what you are truly wondering is this: "I did pretty darn well for myself, getting over alot of my bad symptoms...and I had to look A LITTLE BIT at myself and my neurotic patterns and my feelings about family and expectations and perfection and lots of issues...but see..well, gee....I didn't really look very deep. And now what I'm wondering is: can I get away with it? Can I expect to ever get totally recovered without having to REALLY GO DEEP into myself and really do some honest hard work in therapy? I mean, I was diong pretty darn good! And I really felt like I could get out of this hell without needing to do more....was I being too naive?"

That about it, my friend?

Love,
Janine

 

[Guest]

sad soo very sad..

 

[Guest]

Gee thanks Janine, your sure know how to hit the spot don't you? I think you are going to make a great psych.

I know I have to do more work, but it comes down to the point where I don't think I am sick enough to see someone but I should because I am also not well enough.

I am scared to look at the issues for feeling worse. The following is stopping me -

My psych said that I should just do what I am doing & that I'll be fine
My Husband, friends & inlaw family think counselling is unneccessary
I just started a new job, not sure how I can fit it in
I have little faith in our mental health system due to what my psych said above. I am scared that seeing someone will do me more harm than good.

So now I have some thinking to do. I would rather just forget this & carry on like I am cause it all seems to hard, but also it could get worse if I don't deal with it.

 

[Guest]

I'm not saying you MUST do therapy, dear one. I was just trying to name the REAL question in your otherwise pitiful question. Of course, there is recovery. But it may not be as easy as we'd hoped, that's all. And you might be able to feel much better on your own...you don't NEED treatment as if you're so sick, etc...lol...I didn't mean that at all.

But when we're scared to look deeper, the fear itself, the avoidance inherent in that fear is likely to produce more anxiety than anyone wants to handle.

I am also not suggesting you've got some horrible buried secrets or anything. I just think you've got very specific ways of looking at the world and don't want to change them....you see people ONE way, yourself, your mother, your husband, etc...very very controlled views and you clutch at them with ferocity.

Make any sense?

Love,
J

 

[Guest]

Janine, THANK YOU It is like you read my mind. What you just described is exactly how I feel. I know I am on my way to recovery, slowly but surely but I am scared to look at the deeper issues - thus causing more symptoms, also I'm scared to think that I did have some horrible scary hidden secret. The thought of sittind down with another psych who hasn't got a clue made me feel all anxious all over again. I just need to slowly but surely work at this by myself & do some more self analysis - with Janines help of course!

My main issue is that yes, I did have certain ways of looking at people at the world etc. I thought I had it all figured it out & when life/reality happened those opinions of mine came crashing down. Now I guess I just walk around dazed & confused trying to rebuild new opinions & ideas. It is all so confusing.

Like I dont' understand why I can't just get up everymorning & be happy to just live instead of thinking about what could possibly happen in the future or is there a god? Why am I here? What is this illness? etc These questions keep this illness going & that is why I am experiencing the symptoms when they pop up.

Janine when did all just click for you? When did you stop questioning & worrying?

 

[chris51]

I am also wondering how long to recovery or is this something I just deal with at this point. I mean I am better. But not FULLY there.