[Guest]

Does anyone here feel like they are stuck in a rut?

It's ironic, I feel most comfortable in my home, my comfort zone, yet I feel most alive at work and in new situations, where I'm forced to get out of my pj's, from under my duvet and live and interact...

My parents are posessive and protective... I started going out with a new boyfriend, November last year, we got engaged really quickly, I love him to bits, he helps my depression, anxiety and DP/DR like no-one else, and he moved into the home I share with my parents in January... Which was wonderful, but we have to sleep in separate rooms, if they get one whiff that we've slept in the same room it's all out war... Snuggling on the sofa etc is forbidden... No kissing even... I hate it and just want to move somewhere so we can be alone together... But the last time I suggested it everything got extremely violent and a lot of my stuff got broken... I love them to bits, but they're making me ill...

Can anyone relate? Has anyone been through similar and knows a way of cutting some ties without hurting them?

Thanks all

 

[mcsiegs]

First, I love the way you Brits say duvet, when we say comforter (you are British, right?)

Anyway - your parents don't sound possessive and protective to me. They sound abusive, instead (I asume the violence you speak of was from them).

In order to fully answer the question, we all need more info:

1. How old are you? I have a much different answer if you are 15 or 16 as opposed to in your 30s or 40s, etc.
2. Do your parents just not like the boyfriend, or would they treat another person this way?

 

[Guest]

Hey!

I'm 19, nearly 20... Yeh the violence was from them... And they've acted this way towards all my boyfriends so far!!

Thanks for replying

Any help???

 

[mulder]

I think you're still a bit young yet for the whole engagement / marriage thing, but they should be letting have as much freedom as possible. How the hell are you supposed to beat this anxiety if they don't allow you to learn how to be independent, make your own mistakes, and to take care of yourself? Everybody has to make a certain number of mistakes in order to learn something about life and avoid any major messes in the future. You can't learn everything by watching others make the mistakes for you.

Is there a religious issue here?

 

[Guest]

Nope, no religious issues, jus a stuck up mother who has high morals and values, whilst being ignorant to my mental state!!!

I know i'm a bit young for it... I suffered an attempted rape last year, I was a bit young for that too!!!

I really don't know how to deal with this...

:|

 

[Guest]

Rocksy is there anyway your boyfriend could get a place of his own & then you could go there & spend time with him?

Just a suggestion.

 

[Guest]

He used to in the first year of uni, but he had to move out after the that and my parents let him move in... It could be done, but we don't know how right now as Uni is an hour away...

Nice suggestion tho, thanks!!!