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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Man this shit is rough. It’s hard to not be depressed. I’m having control issues I feel like a programmed robot and everything is pre determined. I just feel connection to my decisions anymore and like everything just fucking happens. It’s a nightmare. I seriously can’t catch a break because I analyze every single thought that pops into my head and I wonder how the hell that works. Then I begin to tell myself that if thoughts just come and go and pop into your head then what control do you have?? Of course it’s not that bad when I’m not thinking about it and in the moment but then when that happens and I’m in the moment I will get Intrusive thoughts like wow were you just on auto pilot? Does that mean you weren’t in control? Very difficult cycle to break. Def some OCD relations. Any recommendation or relations? I know I need to stay off google and stop searching because that feeds into this but I feel so alone... like I seriously question every single thought that pops into my head... when I say something to someone I Wonder why the hell I just said that... so frustrating and depressing... also any supplements anyone can recommend?
 

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Aaaaaaaaa this is exactly what happens to me. When i spend brief moments not analyzing my own thoughts and behavior and just live in the world not thinking about it, I immediately regtess back and think "was I just on autopilot reacting to stimuli?" Then it makes everything worse. Really sucks.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
So glad someone can relate. That exact process is literally my downfall.. I’ll be enjoying something without that over hyper or over aware conscious, then it’ll come back and be like woah, were you on auto pilot not thinking? Maybe you are just a programmed machine. Sucks
 

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This is one of the hardest things to imagine being without. It's like there are two versions of myself. How can I reconcile them? One is autopilot with "normal" personality, the other is hyper aware / DP with almost no personality. But it's like that hyper aware self is never really gone, just distracted. I used to go half the day on autopilot, but I never felt as if I was "better" during that time. If anything, I felt even weirder once I became hyper aware again. As in, "was that really me?""Which one is me?"
 
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