Did you get up? Did you shower? Did you go to work? Did you interact with people? Did you eat 3 meals? If your answer is yes to these questions, then you're living life well. Hang in there SB.
Strong Fear Of Insanity
G
Yeah i know, ive been reassured many many many many times, that i am not insane and that i will not go insane, but for some reason i cannot shake the fear.
Its like because of the fact that things seem so strange, that i must be heading down the road of insanity. And yes someone will be like " hey thats just anxiety" it feels weirder than anxiety. I mean if i logically think about it, at this point, i cannot be insane, Would an insane person be able to hold a job? Write verses, Hold normal conversations, Have rational feelings? Probably not, RIGHT???????????
During my last therapy visit, my therapist was asking me a number of questions based around the subject of Sociopathic ( word?) symptoms and he said that i had none of them. Is being a sociopath the same thing as being insane? The other thing though that secretly bothers me, is the fact that i go see a therapist, yeah it helps, but its just like im hiding this big secret from most people, just like im hiding the whole DP/DR thing from most people. This does bother me, because mostly everyone thinks im fine, because i appear fine, talk fine & around most people act fine.
I just keep thinking that somehow, maybe when im older, that this will start to develope into insanity or dimentia or something like that. Obviously im not feeling normal, im an outside the box thinker when it comes to alot of things & i just feel strange. I just don't understand how things can ever gonna feel right again. Like a few times during arguments with my dad he was like " what are you going crazy?" or " your acting like your ready for the nut house" or " my son is cracking up" Either because of what he said or because of maybe the argument that took place, i sit back & wonder, maybe he's right or maybe what i did or said was infact a sign of going insane, even though if i rationally think about it now, it really wasn't, it was more a sign of depression & stress.
ahhhh im so conflicted & confused
sorry about the long ass post.
Peace
Its like because of the fact that things seem so strange, that i must be heading down the road of insanity. And yes someone will be like " hey thats just anxiety" it feels weirder than anxiety. I mean if i logically think about it, at this point, i cannot be insane, Would an insane person be able to hold a job? Write verses, Hold normal conversations, Have rational feelings? Probably not, RIGHT???????????
During my last therapy visit, my therapist was asking me a number of questions based around the subject of Sociopathic ( word?) symptoms and he said that i had none of them. Is being a sociopath the same thing as being insane? The other thing though that secretly bothers me, is the fact that i go see a therapist, yeah it helps, but its just like im hiding this big secret from most people, just like im hiding the whole DP/DR thing from most people. This does bother me, because mostly everyone thinks im fine, because i appear fine, talk fine & around most people act fine.
I just keep thinking that somehow, maybe when im older, that this will start to develope into insanity or dimentia or something like that. Obviously im not feeling normal, im an outside the box thinker when it comes to alot of things & i just feel strange. I just don't understand how things can ever gonna feel right again. Like a few times during arguments with my dad he was like " what are you going crazy?" or " your acting like your ready for the nut house" or " my son is cracking up" Either because of what he said or because of maybe the argument that took place, i sit back & wonder, maybe he's right or maybe what i did or said was infact a sign of going insane, even though if i rationally think about it now, it really wasn't, it was more a sign of depression & stress.
ahhhh im so conflicted & confused
sorry about the long ass post.
Peace
1 - 3 of 39 Posts
Wow Ninnu, I too am really sorry that you went through that. But I'm really glad that you got on some good meds and pulled away from those thoughts. And thanks for telling us that when psychosis sets in, you don't really know its happening. I got some relief from that. Take care of yourself.
yes H24 I get that too. I get kind of like a deja vu feeling or a really powerful memory of my childhood; sometimes they come in floods. If it bothers you that usually means there is an emotional connection to the memory or "childhood setting". What I have found to work for this is to determine the type of emotion involved when it occurs. In other words, does it make me anxious, upset, happy, sad, etc. If its good emotion I just try to enjoy it as a passed memory. If its bad or makes me feel uncomfortable I try to think of it as my mind's way of purging itself of the hurt caused by the memory, and then grieve it, cry it out, scream it out whatever. Anything that helps you address the emotion caused by the memory or 'image' is good. I got this REALLY bad when my DP first started. I actually felt that I was living my childhood over again. What I later found is that I locked up so many painful events inside, that they started to resurface when I least expected them too. But if they don't bother you, then enjoy them as something out of the ordinary that connects you to your past. Crazy life. I went off the psychological deep end just now, but I hope this helps.
1 - 3 of 39 Posts
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