[fingertingle]

Today I was driving down a practically unlit freeway. I kept asking my friend if she could see and she kept assuring me that she could see fine and I realized that I could too, but it was so scary I practically had a panic attack and gripped the steering wheel at 10 and 2 in fear for the whole hour and a half drive home-not saying a word, vowing to myself to move to New York City and never drive again. I felt like I was spinning out of control in a video game: the only twist being that me and my friend's lives were at stake in this video game. I felt like the wheel lost its resistance and I was trying to navigate through a blackened tunnel. I'm so glad I'm home. I don't think I'll be volunteering to drive anywhere anytime soon!

I wish I had SOMETHING positive to contribute to this community. Unfortuantely, these are not happy days.

I got hired in this drugstore I used to work in. It's glowing white flourescent and the scene of many of my worst moments of dr, but I'm in desperate need of money. Maybe I will invest in some tinted glasses and freak out everyone in the store. I really want to call for therapy once I get a little money for a copay or whatever (most is covered by my insurance) but another incident has led me to believe that this is a risky idea: my doctor called my cell to "confirm with my parents" my doctor's appointment (noting specifically the clinic name and everything). It was just a dermatology appointment but what the FUCK. I'm 19. Correct me if I'm wrong... I didn't sign any paper work... Isn't that illegal?

 

[jft]

Lights are the killer for me too. In fact I swear they cause my dr many times instead of the other was around. I did an experiment last night and popped a xanax and went shopping at Walmart. I was relaxed for awhile but after about twenty minutes the lights nailed me. I saw the fog, the glow, the bright dancing light, felt like I was underwwater. My visoion blurred and I became disoriented. My anxiety heightened a bit, but the xanax kept it at bay. It was full blown dr by the time I left, could not even find where I had parked my truck. The lights hey, it is the lights sometimes alone that initiate an epidode. At least for me. And I never habituate to them. I cannot work indoors becasue of this..

Your clinic should have a consent form for them to call your residence and leave a message to remind you of an appointment. You may have signed this when you registered another time. I would call them and tell them to not leave a message. In fact, tell them to not call you at all. I once returned their call when they called me to remind them I had an appointment. She called me a smart ass but I felt fair is fair. I do not get calls from anyone else in the business world to remind me of appointments. The medical community is certainly a business and I do not see why they have to be any different. Yes folks blow off appointments and forget them. But this happens to all businesses.
jft