[squish_is_me]

Ok So I posted here a couple of weeks ago saying how much better I was doing. Well I think it has been a month since I found this site. And in my reading and evaluating my actions and trying to understand this better I believe I have "fixed" myself so to speak. I havent had one DR day since! I dont wanna toot my own horn or jinx myself though I am still going one day at a time. Though no DR I still have had my days where anxiety is taking control... not totally like before, but bad days I guess. The things is before I thought maybe I really truely was crazy... mostly cuz of my DR and the way it made me think. Well no DR and I still find myself wondering if I truely am nuts? Is that crazy? Am I crazy to think that? What is going on here?
I saw another post talking about fear of hurting someone even though they dont want to. I have that fear too. Like that I will hurt my kids or something... one day I will just snap... but I DONT want to. I just fear it for no reason. Someone suggested OCD. Well I'd say most of my daily life is not OCD. Alot of things I do would show that. But there are certain things that could make you think otherwise. So is my fear or thinking that maybe I am nuts... stilll possibly an OCD thing? Or have I just been thinking this way so much for the past year that I my mind set is as such? Like I need to recondition myself to think differently?? I dunno I am just confused. I always felt this way, or so I thought, cuz of my DR but now I do and I am not DR?? Well so far...
Anyone any thoughts?

 

[jc]

when my sisters visit my house with my neices and nephews i always have this thought/fear that i will harm the kids.....now this will never happen but i think it has something to do with the fact that we think about the worse case scenario and because we react with anxiety towards this thought it kind of sticks in the mind,it horrifies me that i could think like this because i adore the children but i have to accept this as just a thought....claire weekes describes this well in her books

 

[mcsiegs]

Hi squish - nice avatar. Did you draw that?

Anyway - you are definitely not crazy. These thoughts seem to be just passing fears. It does not sound like you are capable of hurting anyone.

As long as these thoughts do not turn into urges, I wouldn't worry. I think that you are just worried that it COULD happen, not that it WILL happen.

I sometimes get thoughts about accidentally hurting someone (especially helpless people). For example, I hate holding a baby, because I always think "What if I drop it?". I WOULDN'T drop it, but the thought is there of what if I accidentally slip and the baby falls.

 

[kchendrix]

Go to this site http://www.ocdonline.com/

This really explains alot about what you are going through.... The thoughts are obsessions, you might not perform a compulsion , like say what you see in the movies, like hand washing etc..... but I think the site will help you make sense of this.......

Anxiety does many strange things it seem!

Peace

 

[squish_is_me]

LOL no I found my avatar pic on the net. Actually it is much bigger but I had to size it down to fit. I do have some cool pics I drew at home though... hmmm never thought of that. I should get one of those 8)

so you all think it could be OCD why I keep wondering if I am nuts even though my DR has gone?

 

[mcsiegs]

You could have some OCD tendencies, but I don't think it is drastic. I think it is more anxiety.

 

[Shadow Cat]

You could have some OCD tendencies, but I don't think it is drastic. I think it is more anxiety.

That sounds like what she has. I have a few things I do that are symptoms of OCD, but I don't have the disorder.

 

[rainboteers]

I think this goes along with a very common fear for many of us. The fear of "going crazy". We think we are going crazy and then we start thinking of the worst possible things that could happen if we do (which we won't). It all goes along with the fear and our anxiety and worry about that fear.

 

[orangeaid]

yeah i have been around to a few anxiety boards when I have been really stressed out, and I have noticed that this is common with people and anxiety.

 

[RedCaineForNova]

im female/17, have obessions with certain thoughts. its either obsessivly thinking about reality and am i really here? am i dreaming? when i look at my hands or legs out of the corner of my eye or directly look at them sometimes i will start to panic alittle bit because i dont feel like they are mine or its fearing that i will harm/kill people i love. I am really worried and i dont want to tell anyone because i also am soo scared that they will hear what i am going through and put me in some sort of institution..ahh i hate this.

also i agree in thinking that a big part is anxiety. i was at this college thing this week and we took this test and it shows that i have really high anxiety.

im still not convinced i have dp/dr, though it certainly feels that way, i think alot of it has to do with anxiety and lack of sleep. But i really am sick of constantly feeling like im always dreaming, and hating how sunlight and any lights are sensitive to my eyes. im only 17 and i dont want to go through feeling like this for the rest of my life, i want to enjoy life but i just cant...

anyone know any symptoms of what lack of sleep over time will do?

 

[orangeaid]

Yeah i completely agree with what redcainefornova said. I do have obessive thoughts, ones that make it hard to get out of my head which in return adds to my anxiety. It is like a cycle.

I also feel that I am "doomed" to this, or I can not escape these feelings of dp/dr. But once I think positive, I feel so much better. Which leads me to believe that my anxiety could just be the underlying problem of my dp/dr. I too dont know if I truely have Dp/Dr, i am going to my shrink see what they say and get some work done in the hospital (I think will turn up negative for anything, i have this blasted luck of having good health ).

What do people mean by dreamy feeling? What I feel is that my mind is kinda foggy, like it can never clique any more, such as I cant concentrate, memory is poor. But these are also contributed to many other disorders. I am not sure where I fall but I never really feel 100% normal anymore.

I have also had feelings of questioning things like amazed by a simple invention such as like cars or computers. I think of how complex thigns are, to me I have always had them.

Oh lack of sleep can "snowball" I think. I think over time if you do not get proper sleep it can really affect you in the long run.

 

[RedCaineForNova]

hey well the dreamy feeling is basically what it feels like when your dreaming you know? its that same feeling. You cant really destinguish if your dreaming or not...

hahaha i am also amazed by simple inventions...to my friends ill be like "wow cameras are so cool, its so weird how they work" and theyll be like "your such a loser" hahaha

when ever there is somthign wrong with you or you just dont feel right, dont ever try to diagnose yourself online because people will say things that most of the time will be wrong and you will get yourself worked up and panicked thinking you have something alot worse than you do. the best thing is to go to your doctor. sometimes something wrong is as simple as needing to eat the right foods and or to take vitamins.

i also was supose to see a shrink to see whats wrong with me, i gotta remind my mom to make an appointment..haha she was amazed when i told her i wanted her to make an appointment for me

 

[orangeaid]

lol I know what you mean I look at somethings and I am like Holy *#(@ that is the coolest!

I am glad you are going get an appointment, I know some people just put it off and off or just never go and they wonder why they do not make progress.

Yeah I am a huge hypo-condro! I thought I had HPPD, but I know now that I do not have it. Then I thought I had vertigo, my mind is so powerful on my physical being.

So this dreaming feeling, specifically is it like you feel spacy? like out of it? When i am thinking of this dreamy thing, I think of someone that is tired and just kinda spaced out. Is this it?

 

[Da'Burgh]

It's more like... "I feel like I never really woke up and I'm just imagining this..." or like you don't feel like you've controlled yourself all day.. like a how did I get here feeling...

 

[person3]

it's an obsession...a trick of your brain to lure you in to monitoring yourself. your brain is presenting you with something so BAD that you feel you HAVE to watch the thought or watch yourself to suppress it/prevent it from happening. but truth is, it's just a thought. i think because you have become so skilled at getting rid of your anxiety and DR that your brain is trying to grapple for something to lure you back into some kind of self-control/self-observation. its been a while since i've had one of these thoughts but i just kind of imagine it dissolving in my mind like a sugar cube in warm water. the thought itself is not the problem, it's the importance you give it.

 

[RedCaineForNova]

wow yeah thats a good way of putting it, i deffintly agree with you. Im so scared when i go to the shink she will put me on meds but i am kind of against meds not really though i just dont want to take them because i hate the thought of putting somthing that i dont konw in my body..and like i dont know how its going to effect me in years to come.

I have adhd and they put me on concerta for 2 months, it made me feel so depressed and i had bad thoughts of suicide and i was crying alot and i got into a fight ahahah so i was just like f this and i stopped. then they tried to put me on strattera and like a day after of taking it i just stopped taking them.

im gona start excersising and maybe do some yoga so thatll probly help alot with my anxiety.

 

[person3]

oh my GOD...man you can print this out if you want to...to show to your doc

honey.

i have been diagnosed with ADD. I have tried three things: Ritalin (which is methylphenidate similar to Concerta), Strattera, and Adderall.

Ritalin made me very paranoid, and a weird emotional rollercoaster

strattera I couldn't stay on for more than one day.

Adderall has been very helpful. Not a fun drug to take IMO...i don't really like having to take it...but it helps a lot.

but yeah, definitely try the yoga and such. and then maybe ask to try a different med if you still need to. but god damn if your doc didn't put you on the two worst medications in the world for anxiety!