STOLEN From Another DP Board!!

1957 Views 13 Replies 5 Participants Last post by Guest, Aug 4, 2005

danilee

Discussion Starter · Aug 2, 2005

HI I stole thisfrom another DP board because I Agree 100% and wanted to share it with Yall!!

In a nutshell, I have come to the conclusion that DP is simply fear of existence.

See, 80 percent of the world are what I like to call "programmed" they walk around doing everything they have been taught and told in their lives since kindergarden, nothing more or less.

People with DP seem to be the other 20%, the one's that always dream up new inventions, new things to do, very artistic, etc.

To me, people with DP at some point in their life realize that nothing matters and we are all going to die one day, possibly tomorrow, and it freaks them out to the the opoint that then they start questioning the real things in life that the other 80% of the world take for granted everyday like the Sun, the moon, The fact that the universe never ends, wether their is really a god or not, etc.

I personally get freaked out when I look at my body and thik I can't believe that I am a walking sac of tissue and bones with a "Soul" that cannot be seen, and despite the millions of people on this planet, no 2 are alike, etc. Then i start thinking about , why am I even here if all I am gonna do is die one day, then I think why am I married? Why did I choose to settle down with 1 person for the rest of my life, love right? what is love? Why do we say "I love you forever" Instead why do we not just be realistic and say I love you until one of us dies. Hmm.

The reason why I rambled on above is to show you about 1% of what goes through my freaking head all of the time and why sometimes I feel like I am going to lose it.

These are overwhelming thoughts and it is sad that we have to medicate or distract ourselves from thinking these thoughts, so we can be like everyone else.

If you have DP, just consider yourself lucky that you know what life is really about unlike the morons that you see everyday. We are in reality. The guy who came up with the name probably never had DP in his life! We are not in the dream world, he is.

Anyway, I hope that helps. I have been battling with this since last year after being drugged in my beer and smoking a little weed the same night and not knowing what happened. I still have flashbacks, PTSD, Etc. I thought I was going to die for 10 days , then finally found out what had happened and felt violated.

Its almost like one day, you are finally caught with your gaurd down and you get DP. Your senses go numb and you don't feel pain or sadness anymore, just anger and fear.

We are simply isolated emotionally by the people around us that do not understand this disorder and it makes us even more afraid. If everone had it, no one would care. I also think the world would be a safer and better place.

THANK YOU JUDSON

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LOSTONE

· #9 · Aug 3, 2005

There seems to be a temptation for people with DP to assume that somehow we see more of the truth than other people, that we're somehow "better" or at very least "different" insofar as we question things that other people don't.

I don't know about you Monkeydust but I feel that eveyone around me is blind. I have always felt that I can see and understand more than other people can. I refer to other people as sheeple instead of people. Sheeple is a comment former president Billy boy made. I don't exult myself, or believe that I am very smart at all. I do believe however that I am aware of the things nobody else is aware of.

I often wish that I could forget the things that dp/dr has tought me.
I wish that I would become automated like everyone else.
I feel like the diffrence in me and people without dp/dr is that I am unable to dismiss all of the crap about reality from my mind.
Most people look around at the world and think only about the reality that hits them right in the face at that very moment. I look around and think about the reality of everything, and this is overwhelming.

I would like to be like other people and not know what I know, but it is impossible for me to forget the things that I am now aware of.

Many times I think that I am glade that I know what I know about reality.
I am glade that I am not blind to the world around me.
But knowledge of reality sucks sometimes, because it can be very overwhelming.

There seems to be a temptation for people with DP to assume that somehow we see more of the truth than other people, that we're somehow "better" or at very least "different" insofar as we question things that other people don't.

It is not a temptation for me to assume that I see more than others.
It is a fact that I do see more and I do think more deeply about things than most people. But maybe this has nothing to do with dp/dr.
I have always been a deep person.

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LOSTONE

· #11 · Aug 3, 2005

And don't assume that in some way being able to abstract yourself and think about reality in the way that you do makes you more "enlightened".

Good point. In many ways I am debilitated by my hyper awareness of reality. I realy do wish I was like everybody else.

I think that the human brain naturaly filters out a lot of stuff throughout the day. I think that without the ability to filter out information, the brain will overload and shutdown. I don't realy feel enlightened but I feel like my brain is not filtering out everything the way it should be. I am fully aware that I am the one with the problem.
But one of my problems is simply that I know to much. I would like to block many things out of my conscious mind, but I can't.

It's not about being enlightened realy, to me dp/dr is just like being on higher plane of reality and it hurts me that nobody else is there with me.
If everyone was on the same level as me I don't think I would be afraid anymore. People say that when you trip on acid you should only be around other people that are tripping. That way you all know your all on the same level. This is how I feel, like I am on another level all by myself.
Dose this make any sense?

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LOSTONE

· #13 · Aug 4, 2005

Wendy thank you for posting, I was starting to think I didn't belong on this board. I have been feeling like an outsider.

I do feel like an outsider to life

I feel this way all the time. But I am sure that if I was surrounded by people tripping hard on acid I wouldent feel like an outsider anymore.
Liveing with dp/dr is like haveing your head filled with helium. Your up in the clouds and it takes all the effort in the world just to figure out whats going on down on earth. I just wish everyone else would come up here into the clouds, it is more interesting up here anyway.

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