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So I've come to the conclusion that a huge source of my problems is thinking about the future and then thinking "i'll always feel this way, I wont' get better, what will I feel like on the trip to see my psychiatrist next week forty five minutes away," etc. I realize that I need to focus on the moment and not worrya bout the future, but the problem is in doing this. Is the best way to do this to just FORCE myself to stop thinking of the future and focus on hte moment, because this isn't easy. Right now I just wish that I could stop obsessing about my breathing, thinking about doing it, like I mentioned earlier. It was ok at work, then I'd think "i havent' been thinking about it, or have I? Better start thinking about it now..." I do this to myself, which makes it all the more depressing. Sigh.

Why does it seem that we have the right answers and abilities within us to end this hell but we can't find away to make it work for us? Peaceboy, I will find myself in the middle of a conversation and have this sudden realization that I am actually talking to somebody us. I don't know if that makes sense but it is like you catch yourself doing something normal and your DP mind slaps you in the back of the head to make you over aware of it and causes you to slip back into the DP mode.
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