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54 Posts
Hello everyone,

I have been on Seroquel (25mg) at nighttime for about 10 days now (which finally made me able to sleep). I wouldn't say its giving me GOOD sleep, it just gives me sleep (still having weird dreams and waking up sometimes during the night). Also still experiencing extreme anxiety when waking up.

I have also been using Ativan for about 3 weeks now (3x 0.25-0.50 mg a day).

The above reduced my symptoms by a lot as it reduced my anxiety! I had terrible existential OCD and was very suicidal, so taking seroquel and ativan really saved me. Taking Ativan also eliminated the symptom of feeling numb (I couldn't feel my own body, felt invisible or a ghost). It made me feel like I'm in my body.

By taking the above I am actually able to socialize and 'relax' a bit more. It give me a 'fuck-it attitude'.

Symptoms left:
- Dimmed mind (thoughts are not flowing naturally)
- Dimmed inner monologue (I have to force my inner monologue)
- Emotions are non-existent
- Depressed feeling (No motivation at all and no pleasure in doing anything)
- Complete autopilot feeling (I just do and say stuff without thinking about it)
- No emotional connection to anyone or anything
- Feeling like I'm not 'experiencing' anything, unable to focus
- Memories don't feel like my own
- No sense of 'self'. Constantly have to remind myself who I am.
- Just rational thinking left basicly.
- Family/friends look the same but they feel unfamiliar (just as my surroundings do)

Been having these symptoms chronicly for about 2 months now (onset is about 10 months now).

My memory is actually still pretty good. Never really had problems with that. Memories just don't feel like mine.


Today I'm adding 25mg Zoloft to the cocktail (gonna go up to 50mg when I'm used to the sides).

Gonna try to keep a journal here for everyone

Wish me luck!


Update day 4:
First couple of days were very manageble. 4th day is getting harder (increased anxiety and constant onset of a panic-attack, I can feel it brewing).
No cignificant changes dp wise (slight increase in DP, because my anxiety is hightened). Even tho I felt pretty good during the evenings (maybe because the anxiety settles down and it's just relevating).

Update day 12:
Went up to 50mg about 5 days ago. When I upped my dose to 50mg, I actually felt really good that day (moodwise).
But the following days I felt a lot more 'out-of-it'. Anxiety is also increased by a lot and intrusive thoughts are getting worse (Probably because of the increase in anxiety).
As I'v been told, the first couple weeks are gonna be worse, so just gotta stay strong and maybe do something more social (I'm just playing videogames the whole day to pass the first weeks).

Update day 22:
On day 19 and 20 I had very good days where I didn't really notice any dissociation. I felt very good and felt connected to my family. Day 21 and 22 were horrible, increased anxiety and horrible depression. Maybe its the medication that's still adjusting.

Will update again in a week.

54 Posts

Well I'm about 9 weeks on Zoloft now. I'v been on 100mg for about 4 weeks and went back down to 50mg again for 1.5 week because I felt insanely numb.

50mg isn't doing anything for my depression either and I feel like my dp is worse.

So Zoloft isn't working for me. My anxiety is pretty much gone, but it made my dp worse (it killed the little bit emotions I still had left, and just made me extremely lethargic).

Gonna swap to Celexa this week, will give an update in about a month.
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