I had a good bit of instability too: parents were divorced when I was young, and then remarried others in a relatively short period of time.
I had severe conflicts with my newly acquired step-family; if any particular stressor pushed me from developing a successful attachment to my environment it would have been my new step family, as there was a lot of mental instability in them (sister was hospitalized for psychological reasons, for example).
This desire to have stability seems common with us, and I believe is the result of an intense anxiety surrounding our inability to attach to the external world effectively - both in practice and in theory. This results in intense self-monitoring as we feel impending doom about to play on us if we don't regain stability.
It's interesting to note that I think the stability we once felt was limited in its depth - something as frivolous as social relations or a particular ritual (daydreaming, for example). Once that left - we were isolated once again.
The elegant solution appears to be finding something non-frivolous and somewhat abiding (a "normal husband" doesn't count as one can flake out on you at any time) to hold on to. Welcome to the chase, though - as none of us have found it yet.
I had severe conflicts with my newly acquired step-family; if any particular stressor pushed me from developing a successful attachment to my environment it would have been my new step family, as there was a lot of mental instability in them (sister was hospitalized for psychological reasons, for example).
This desire to have stability seems common with us, and I believe is the result of an intense anxiety surrounding our inability to attach to the external world effectively - both in practice and in theory. This results in intense self-monitoring as we feel impending doom about to play on us if we don't regain stability.
It's interesting to note that I think the stability we once felt was limited in its depth - something as frivolous as social relations or a particular ritual (daydreaming, for example). Once that left - we were isolated once again.
The elegant solution appears to be finding something non-frivolous and somewhat abiding (a "normal husband" doesn't count as one can flake out on you at any time) to hold on to. Welcome to the chase, though - as none of us have found it yet.
