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Stability growing up

1232 Views 8 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  foggy
I have a question. Should be in the poll section I guess. Did you guys have a lot of stability as a child? For me I had none. My parents broke up and got back together about 10 times in my life. I've moved about 15 times throughout my life, mostly bouncing from home to home with my mom when she would leave my dad. Different schools, different towns, moved in with grandparents, relatives, etc. I long for a normal husband and life where everything is just, secure. But I don't really see that happening now.
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I had a good bit of instability too: parents were divorced when I was young, and then remarried others in a relatively short period of time.

I had severe conflicts with my newly acquired step-family; if any particular stressor pushed me from developing a successful attachment to my environment it would have been my new step family, as there was a lot of mental instability in them (sister was hospitalized for psychological reasons, for example).

This desire to have stability seems common with us, and I believe is the result of an intense anxiety surrounding our inability to attach to the external world effectively - both in practice and in theory. This results in intense self-monitoring as we feel impending doom about to play on us if we don't regain stability.

It's interesting to note that I think the stability we once felt was limited in its depth - something as frivolous as social relations or a particular ritual (daydreaming, for example). Once that left - we were isolated once again.

The elegant solution appears to be finding something non-frivolous and somewhat abiding (a "normal husband" doesn't count as one can flake out on you at any time) to hold on to. Welcome to the chase, though - as none of us have found it yet.
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BTW - I just noticed the poll section - I should have put my questions in there. Oops...sorry all.....
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