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Stability growing up

1230 Views 8 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  foggy
I have a question. Should be in the poll section I guess. Did you guys have a lot of stability as a child? For me I had none. My parents broke up and got back together about 10 times in my life. I've moved about 15 times throughout my life, mostly bouncing from home to home with my mom when she would leave my dad. Different schools, different towns, moved in with grandparents, relatives, etc. I long for a normal husband and life where everything is just, secure. But I don't really see that happening now.
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Perhaps we should consider that we have a predisposition to react to stress or being unsettled or experiencing anxiety by trying to mentally escape(dissociating). And also that this predisposition may be created by nature as much as nurture.
However I agree that a troubled childhood, at whatever level that is experienced by us, certainly sets in motion the psychological mechanics for our unhealthy adult mental health.
I didnt think my childhood was that bad, and it certainly wasn't in comparison to lots of others. But I have always been a particularily sensitive individual and its that which made me vulnerable.
My chronic dissociation eased its way into my life durng a particularily prolonged period of stress and this new mental status is amply supported by many new sources of anxiety(although ironically I don't experience them!)
As for the delicate issue of rearing healthy well adjusted children its is this 'anxiety' more than any other that holds me in this depersonalised hell. Im frightend to feel, to react, to be anything but stable. I'm crippled by the belief that im allowing my own children to experience the same unsettled and moody upbringing I experienced... :(
So there, thats how it must happen do you think? Abuse can take many forms and look how easy it is to perpetute.
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