[kchendrix]

Every once and awhile I have to give in and just get on here and vent my soul.. Complain if you will, cry out in anger, what ever you want to call it. I am just having a crappy time of it.. I am sick of this crap , sick of focusing outward, sick of not feeling like myself, sick of being sick. This crap has to be the suckiest way to live that ever was invented by the human mind. I am tired of being trapped, things looking so weird etc ... you know the symptoms you all have them too. I know I am not alone in this, but at points I feel so good an then there are days like this.. Noting that I know of has triggered it. Yet I grind out another day.. just looking forward to going bed tonight.. that is no way to live.... I want more out of life, but I feel so freaking tired all the time. Like I am exhausted.. from what.. I feel like my mind doesn't concentrate half the time.. I have so much to be thankful for in life yet Like Martin put in one of his posts, it just doesn't seem to have the meaning, like .. is this it, is this all there is..

And if you don't believe that there is life after this one, man that is depressing to think that this it. My only hope is that the life after this one is so much better.

Like I said sorry to rant and rave and complain and not be positive today , but if ever something sucked this is it.. Thanks for being an ear to my rantings, however useless they are, they seem to get some stuff off of my chest.

Peace to you all that are suffering to yourselfs.

KC

 

[Martinelv]

It's OK mate, everyone needs to vent from time to time. Hell - I do it nearly everyday. I doubt if I'll ever run out of things to moan about.

I know how you feel. Obviously I'm not DR/DP anymore, but I have not-quite similar neurotic complaints that are really, really getting me down. I too am exhausted...I ache....even though my mind is clear...and I have stuff to look forward to. In three hours time I'll be snuggling up with a beautiful woman, in my own home.....but...........jesus, I'm messed up.

You know, from what you said, maybe I do have some kind of emotional DP. I've never thought of that. Maybe I'm so detatched from any kind of emotional experience, be it as stupid as hoovering the kitchen, or magnificent as achieving a goal, that I'm constantly craving more...more...more. Hmm. Interesting idea. But again, it could be just another excuse for me being a selfish little shit with the attention span of a five-year old.

But anyway mate, hang in there. Every silver lining has a cloud.

 

[fingertingle]

Yes:
this is me joining your suckfest

 

[Guest]

"My only hope is that the life after this one is so much better"

Dangerous.

Anyway, yes I understand as well, I am sick of being in Derealization, I feel like my mind is menally tired, I was at the gym today, lifting some big ass weight and my body felt fine, I felt strong, but my MIND felt SO TIRED, I felt like my actual BRAIN wanted to goto sleep.

This is what is causing my Depression symptoms, I plain and simply, want to not look around and everything look surreal/unreal/dream-like, I dont get a break from it, I dont get it during panic attacks etc, I just live like it, dream-like, my mind detached from my surroundings, 24/7, with only the hope that if I relax and ignore it like the good advice from this board states, it will fade over time, coz I only have this board, I went to see a counsellor today and even she had not a clue what I was talking about when I said the word Derealization.

Thats it, rant over. :arrow:

 

[Guest]

"... my body felt fine, I felt strong, but my MIND felt SO TIRED, I felt like my actual BRAIN wanted to goto sleep.

Same here. I feel it mainly in my eyes, that sort of sticky tired feeling...

 

[Kelson12]

Ken...I can totally relate. I don't get on this site much at all anymore. I've been feeling pretty good over the last 4 weeks. But still go through days where I just get flat out irritated with everything life has to offer. I often wonder, is this it? Is this all there is to life? Why am I here? What is the purpose? It just all seems odd and almost pointless to me. And then as of yesterday, my mind has just been really drained and tired. I also stare into space ALOT and can't focus or concentrate very well. I hate that.

Yesterday and last night everything was just pissing me off. But, it's okay to have a moanfest sometimes. It gets ya through the tough times. I'm with you on this man.

Kelson