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I dont no if I am in denial or im really feeling dp and dr..i did drugs al ling time ago and since then id wonder if im real and then id be liek ovcourse you are dont be stupid and shrug it off but i took diet pills to many of them and it make me feel like this again but not to the extent of when i really was high but i feel like paranoid of feeling liek that even tho its not possible because its been so long since i touched anything like that! i cna calm myself down and be like its all in your head but i am still with these thoughts what if im not real what is life and all that i try to fight iot and when people are talkin to me it goes all blurry and i see them as somethign else cuz im constanly thinking is this real? i hate it this is like my world fear ever! i want to live my life normal but i am scared i wont feel normal again and i cant live like this i want to be able to go out an enjoy life hang otu with friends but i feel scared to do so..i went otu once since i felt like this and drank actually felt better cuz i wasnt thinkin those irattional thoughts..so maybe im just obsessing about it? i dont no but im scared soemthing is going to happen to me like im gunna go crazy and i dont wanna lose my family and boyfriend because i love them but im so scared of being alive..i dont no what to do..
 
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