[Guest]

And it's even A TRUE STORY.

Years ago in an office where I worked, there was a very sweet young girl named Sonia who was one of our file clerks. A few of us were in the file room, working on an employee evaluation project...it was an End of Year project, very rushed, lots of people, disorganized, etc.

Little Sonia was using an industrial sized stapler, binding large batches of evaluation forms together for us..rushing, like the rest of us. Suddenly, we hear a SCREAM!!!!!!!!! Middle of the office, very dignified, not the place you'd expect to hear a scream! (I was still pretty troubled, by the way, so I was reaching for my valium container before even caring who was screaming or why, lol)

Poor little Sonia (again, very sweet..but not the brightest bulb in the fridge) had managed to staple her finger with the gigantic industrial stapler. There in her index finger was a HUGE staple...all...the...way...into her flesh. Flat against her flesh. Stapled her damn finger.

She went first to a good friend of mine who was working with us, and this friend (who knew I used to cut myself) looked at me and said "can you do this?" LOL...and I certainly could.

Took little (hysterical) Sonia into the ladies room, and put her hand under the cold water in the sink. She,however did not want me to TOUCH her finger.

That presented a problem.

As much pain as she was in, I could certainly see why she didn't want to think I was going to rip into her flesh even more and pull the staple out.

But what was her choice?

We stood there for a LONG time, 'discussing" it, lol....she screaming still, and crying, and me (once the valium kicked in) trying to appear calm and persuade her to LET me deal with this and that very soon we could get the darn thing out.

She didn't want anyone to touch her finger.

Eventually, she weakened. or the pain grew too great. or she just didn't know what else to do.

But she let me dunk her hand in the water, and slowly start to reach around the staple and pull (gently).

I'm sure it hurt like hell. And I'm sure it hurt like hell before, too.

She was all smiles in a matter of half an hour and telling everyone about her adventure (yes, we did send her to the doc for a tetanus shot afterwards)

Moral:

Sometimes when you are in GREAT pain, you have to be willing to go a little further in order to get the damn staple out of your finger. Saying "but it hurts too much now!!" is true. It is, however, not going to get the staple out of your damn finger. Therapy can be the staple remover sometimes. But whatever you choose, SOMEthing has to give.

Thank you for enjoying today's rather gruesome storytime.

 

[Guest]

Janine,

Your post could not have come at a more appropriate time for me!

I've been going around the bush with this whole anxiety/DP/DR thing and spiralling faster and faster into self-analysis (which I'm sure you can easily notice from the messages and posts) and (with the help I received from you and some others... especially Keri who has been an angel) I've decided that maybe the other way to deal with this is to actually live through it....

I can't waste my life any longer. I really can't. This has shown me that I lived in a fantasy land before and maybe when reality kicked in, I didn't want to accept it and withdrew into DP/DR land. Well, not anymore.

I still have a lot to learn but, unlike before, now I actually want to learn more about myself. I'm curious as to who I am... not who I expected myself to become or who I pretended to be.. but who I am...

I'm willing to go in and take that staple out Janine even if it means utter insanity. I don't think meds or anything of that sort could help me. I've been slowly getting rid of various symptoms of DP/DR by myself and I think can take this battle to the end line.

I grew up with parents who worshipped Jim Morrison so forgive me for the corny metaphor but maybe it's time for me to break on through to the other side....and see who I actually am.....for real this time!

 

[Kelson12]

Good story Janine and I agree. Therapy may be painful, but it may help.

Buuuuut, here is my thought. I am sure the pain from the staple went away alot quicker then the pain from our DP/Anxiety/Depression will go away. Am I correct? It's like the broken leg thing. If someone has a broken leg, sure it may hurt at first and re-breaking it and setting it in place may hurt even more. But this pain is very temporary and the person knows exactly what needs to be done and it heals. Boom...that simple.

But with DP/Depression/Anxiety...it is no where near that simple. There is no quick fix. No one knows what to expect and how to fix it. That is what makes it so, so hard.

Ya see where I'm coming from?

Kelson

 

[Guest]

Kelson, you are 100 per cent correct. And I don't mean to imply that it's anything remotely as clean and clear as a staple in the finger.

But....it's the way out.

And one can lament that it isn't fair, and that it involves so many unknowns, and that they are too desperately in pain to even think about doing anything more than just surviving...

but....it's the way out.

And all the protestations and reasons in the world will do nothing except buy more time, and the dp gets worse or stays the same. And more time goes on. And more time.

If we know what needs to be done, and don't do it....we need to really ask ourselves why. and we need to face the reality that there IS a way out. It's just not the way we want it to be. (which is part of the problem in the first place!)
Peace,
Janine

 

[terri*]

Today's story was a definite 9 on the applause- o- meter. That would rank a standing ovation. Thanks for taking the time to pass this one along.

terri*

 

[Kelson12]

Janine,

Thanks. I totally agree and understand that it takes therapy. My thing is that I don't know how much longer I can take feeling like this. It is just so disturbing. And I know you know. Lately I have gotten the fear of, "What if this never goes away?" Sure there are times I feel better and it goes away temporarily...but what happens if it always keeps coming back? I mean, I've had the worst week. I've cried twice this week, which is two times more than I've cried over the last year. Everything feels so hopeless. It just feels like I am meeting the end. I can't enjoy anything. Nothing at all. It just sucks, so bad.
I just want it to go away.

Kelson

 

[shadowness]

i am sorry but i had to say this...

OUCH!

 

[Guest]

So show me to the staple puller. We have one particular stapler here where I work that could be used to put down railroad ties. I will happily put staples INTO each and every one of my fingers, if you will only show me how to use the puller.

Not sure if this is related or not, but moments ago I managed to drop my cell phone into the toilet. Just, standing there minding my own business, when suddenly Mr. Cell Phone shot off the end of my belt and did a full back flip, ending in a big splash. Seems cell technology has yet to arrive at the point of being able to survive submersion.
I just wish it had been my pager instead. Hate that thing.

- I am ready to pull staples JB. TELL ME WHAT TO DO PLEASE. No parables, no analogies - I need simple instructions. Just point me in the right direction.........

 

[Guest]

Shop for a therapist as long and as hard as you looked for your car.

Find someone you click with, and I strongly urge you to choose a man (for YOU).

Go to this person at least twice a week. You can afford it, and if you don't have time, give up the gardening.

Talk. And tell the truth about yourself. not to HIM, but to you.

Look for who you are and what you want and be willing to listen to yourself. And limit how much you let yourself talk about dp. Your answers are not in the dp. They are in who you are, apart from it.

Peace,
J
p.s. HOWLING at your website photo of the two cats reading the paper

 

[terri*]

sc, I think it was some kind of "other world" thing that made the cellphone fly in to the toilet. Unknown powers are probably at work since your reading this past Sunday. 8)

Janine, you are doing some mighty preaching today. Tell it all, Woman, tell it all.

terri*

 

[Guest]

--

 

[Guest]

aw, I think this is a great story Janine. Well, not for Sonia, yikes that sucks. But the moral is very on target. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do something you don't want to and get it over with. You always feel so much better when it's done. Whether it's pulling a staple out of your finger, or fixing your mental health issues. :lol: And there's always the one person standing at the other end without your problem telling you it's going to be okay, and really, you just have to listen, trust them and yourself, and jump.

 

[Guest]

Sonia would be SO happy to know she's famous now, lol...glad you guys enjoyed the tale.

Wendy, you are already pulling that staple out, dear one. You've been working hard on yourself for a long time now. You are where you SHOULD be in treatment...don't feel like this tale was a push to RUSH you. We deal with things as we can....I just wanted to push some others to START.

All we can do is start the race. We run at our own paces.

Peace,
J

 

[person3]

I think i've done my share of staple pulling so far too...

 

[Guest]

oh, PERSON3, you have removed MANY staples from your flesh at this point! Totally agree.

(we need, instead of Gold Stars, some kind of "Staple Pulling" approval stamp, lol)

And trust me, I know it's not easy. You've done a LOT of work on yourself in this last year. Proud of ya :wink:

 

[Kelson12]

Janine,

Again, I totally agree about finding the right therapist. But I just don't know anymore. I don't know if I will ever find that one person. I mean I have an appointment with two different therapists within the next copy weeks. I just don't know how much "shopping around" I can take right now. If I don't find that right person soon, I don't know how much longer I will make it. Seriously.

Kelson

 

[Guest]

My best advice is this: the therapist needs to be "good enough" not perfect. There is a term by a famous psychiatrist/writer named Winnicott who talks about development, and early years, etc. and he coined the term "The good enough mother"

It's HARD to really do major damage during infancy to a baby....the mother need not be a model of brilliant mothering, she just needs to be "good enough" and the baby will do his part to develop correctly.

Same thing for a shrink.

THe person needs to be someone you can imagine liking, feel reasonably comfortable with, and someone you think is smart, caring, a good listener. That's it. That's all you need to give it a good shot, and even if the "fit" isn't perfect, some very good work can get done.

Don't over-analyze finding the therapist. It's like finding a "date" for the prom. Just has to be somebody you like well enough to ask.

Peace,
Janine

 

[Guest]

You made me smile about Winnicot, and the good enough mother, because my psychiatrist keeps telling me that line

See you,

Cynthia xxx

 

[Kelson12]

Janine,

Well actually I was seeing a Psychiatrist from April 2003-August 2004. This was at a place where individuals were doing their residency, so they didn't have the most experience in the world. But Janine, I really felt very, very comfortable with her. I told her everything. I looked forward to seeing her, she gave me my time. She never wanted to dwell on symptoms I was feeling, just what I was going through in life, etc. She never wanted to dwell on the DP/depression, etc., just what I was going through since I had seen her last. She also was able to prescribe medication. I was able to see her at least once a week. I was really showing some good progress and then it was time for her residency to be over. She then went into inpatient practice, I think through one of the hospitals, so I wasn't able to continue to see her. I was good for about the next month or so, but then I started to slowly fall back into hell. She had tried many meds with me and I was on Zoloft the majority of the time. We then started tapering off of it as August got closer because I didn't want to be on any meds without a doctor to monitor them and plus I was overall feeling alot better. But again, after around the beginning to middle of September, I slowly started creeping back into the depths of hell. And now, here I am back to being the worse off I have ever been. And SCARED TO DEATH! Utterly frightened, every minute I live.
I have attempted to find another resident in her office that is still there and will be there for a copy more years, but they have yet to hook me up with someone. Also, Janine I really want a woman. For some reason I feel more comfortable with a lady. I feel like they are more understanding for some reason. Is this bad? The two appointments I have with pychologists in the next two weeks are women.
I just feel so lost. So scared. So unfamiliar. So unmotivated. So depressed. So withdrawn from everything around me. So sad. So frightened. I don't feel attached to my voice. I can't think clearly. I can't concentrate (though I think I did pretty good on my test for class I had this weekend). Nothing feels "right". Nothing feels familiar. I don't care about much of anything. I don't really speak unless spoken to. Just going through the motions. Haven't wanted to listen to music over the last week or so. Haven't worked out/exercised like I usual do. Have lost alot of my appetite. I just don't know anymore. I just don't know.

Kelson

 

[Guest]

Kelson,

You know I am not recovered but when I read this, my heart is with you because I feel the same, sam symptoms. I undertand you completely.

Take Janine's advices because she is very good, and don't give up.

And tell yourself, even if it's not the happiest thing of the world, that at least there is plenty of people out there, from all the countries, who feel like you, exactly, so you're not alone in this battle. Keep the faith.

Cynthia xxx