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Hey, It's me. I'm from Hungary and 27.

My story is.

Childhood was bad for me. At 14 my parents are divorced I went to step parents. At 20 my Dad died at 22 my Step-dad died.

About at 14 I tired to suicide sometimes but later I felt better but I had emotions I hate everybody the world and the galaxy.

I had stomach problems because of my parents, doctor said they are my problem.

I went to work when I was 16 and tired to build my life.

About 18 I had problems with sexual drive... that was 0... with police with laws with family member about fighting each others....

About 22 my life went better, got a good job where I worked over 4 years after that I got dream job in another country.

I started to work there about 10 hours every day and last year the winter coming... I found a girl tired to sleep with her.... hmm something doesn't good My body was full numb my head was dizzy... Okey next day no problem. At Christmas I cried all day about family... this girl became my girlfriend... when She worked at night I can't sleep I was anxious woke up every hour.

I went to making some tattoos (I had before.) and in the first sec I passed out. On that day I felt blank mind crying all day. Next day no problem... after some day huge panic attack (1st of February)! Went to the hospital my heartbeat was 160 constantly. Lost 16kg weight . I can't remember for the next 2 months... I don't know when is my derealisation triggered. After 2 months I seen a huge recovery I came out of derealisation I drove I had no problem and my derealisation triggered again... and got it constantly... 24/7. Since that time every time I feel better I get something like panic attack. Like my head crash I have to cry on everything and I just want to sleep. I can't eat sugar or carb. I tired to go to work but after 1 hour the world just became scary and I feel like I going to pass out and I have to sleep asap!

Now I'm at 3rd day on Lexapro (Cipralex) + Xanax. Really exhaused.

I don't know this is only derealisation or I have more problems... I know since I have this my mind is so worried about everything.
 

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"She worked at night I can't sleep I was anxious woke up every hour" - Read about co dependancy - might ring a bell. Common cause of DP

I'm no doctor, but Lexapro should give you some hope, keep in there, nothing you are going through we haven't been there ourselves, Derealisation is something I never got use to, but i don't get it anymore... there is hope
 
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