[Guest]

i wonder what is up with me
should i put all of my will into not thinking
that is impossible
i have no idea how to get through one minute
without going crazy inside with my thoughts
how in the world do i live in this world
when inside i live in a totally different one
i am encased and i feel hopeless that i'll ever get out
i am full of fear that i may come off as full of self-pity
well so be it
it's not true
i know that people are living a worse hell than me
and i know every single thing i should be doing feeling seeing hearing
but i simply cannot reach out and grab these sensations
i am sitting here unaffected
i have to force myself to do the things others expect of a normal person
so that i can function so that others won't worry i might be insane
but i feel insane though i know i am an intelligent person
i just don't feel connected to the person everyone knows as me
that's why i don't find living too fun most days