[ecco2023]

personally i had sort of a breakthrough in my dpdr after accepting that

in my personal case my dpdr is actually chronic
for me

i tried several years with different self help books, personal development, self improvement, pop psychology, academic psychology papers, spiritual texts, anything i could find

pretty messed up there is lack of awareness about dpdr as a mental malady
the most famous book i saw on the topic "feeling unreal"
which is a great book and everything perhaps a little too introductory if i had to bet i think
25-50% of clinical depression and generalized anxiety malady affected are depersonalized at least a decent amount


and i wanted to share w the ppl on the forum i was like one of these cases who held out hope for a cure or
thought i could cure or "integrate" or "process" the dpdr


and im not like... saying thats impossible to clarify
just for me it is

quite frankly after 5 yrs of dpdr i dont even remember if i have it anymore
i dont fully remember what it was like before

do i feel partly unreal inside and outside? de - personalized and realized? yes i am and it hasnt changed.

what the compromise i personally made was and this increased my average mood about 3 points on a 1-10 scale

i actually read into some depression books realized the root of my dpdr was depressive tendencies and quite frankly straight up full on clinical depression

i also realized the anxieties i had were not an anxiety disorder however they were depressive anxiety (which is very anxious but stems from depression imo not generalized anxiety or other anx cluster stuff)

i also dont like the word "symptom management" in a way, this is a common way i saw after ppl claim its chronic for them

it just is, what it is for me. its my malady, we all have one. people whose maladies didnt slide into the mid range or higher ranges of mental illnesses still have a unique malady too imo, if their personal malady became 100% worse many people would be considered as such.

from now on i simply accept my dpdr lowers my mood on a daily basis on a 1-10 scale by about 3 points.
i make up for those 3 mood points by quite frankly, doing mid range controlled cannabis use, have fun w responsible recreational drug use, and also use ssris. i just simply made that compromise, i need to medicate myself to have the mood of a person who is without this. the same mood if i hadnt been born with this brain condition.

3 points in mood not so bad to me. i can medicate myself into a consistently 7-10 mood range if i use cannabis, ssris, etc. at the end of my life i probably did lose 10-20 years of health for all the meds i plan to take until then. however since the average lifetime is over 90 for a person my age the doctors claim, i think if i make it to 60-70 without disability is just fine. i happen to have dpdr and am able to be in a consistent 7-10 mood on the daily, personally for me it takes creatively medicating myself. and i am not an addict, alcoholic, stoner or anything. how could a non dpdr person understand the level of self medication it takes for us to feel the mood we were supposed to have if not for this?

 

[coolwhip27]

Hi! I like a lot of what you said here. Depressive anxiety? Never heard of that but it resonates with me. Cuz my anxiety seems to stem from feelings of unfulfilment, which is depression.

But as you’re talking about “mood points”, is it just something self evident? I mean it’s not like I can’t tell how I’m doing I guess, but I’m not sure that measurement in that way is accurate. Because when I’m ok I’m just not anxious. If I’m anxious I’m not ok. Anxiety/no anxiety is the culprit that makes or breaks my mental state. Idk but thanks for sharing

 

[leminaseri]

personally i had sort of a breakthrough in my dpdr after accepting that

in my personal case my dpdr is actually chronic
for me

i tried several years with different self help books, personal development, self improvement, pop psychology, academic psychology papers, spiritual texts, anything i could find

pretty messed up there is lack of awareness about dpdr as a mental malady
the most famous book i saw on the topic "feeling unreal"
which is a great book and everything perhaps a little too introductory if i had to bet i think
25-50% of clinical depression and generalized anxiety malady affected are depersonalized at least a decent amount


and i wanted to share w the ppl on the forum i was like one of these cases who held out hope for a cure or
thought i could cure or "integrate" or "process" the dpdr


and im not like... saying thats impossible to clarify
just for me it is

quite frankly after 5 yrs of dpdr i dont even remember if i have it anymore
i dont fully remember what it was like before

do i feel partly unreal inside and outside? de - personalized and realized? yes i am and it hasnt changed.

what the compromise i personally made was and this increased my average mood about 3 points on a 1-10 scale

i actually read into some depression books realized the root of my dpdr was depressive tendencies and quite frankly straight up full on clinical depression

i also realized the anxieties i had were not an anxiety disorder however they were depressive anxiety (which is very anxious but stems from depression imo not generalized anxiety or other anx cluster stuff)

i also dont like the word "symptom management" in a way, this is a common way i saw after ppl claim its chronic for them

it just is, what it is for me. its my malady, we all have one. people whose maladies didnt slide into the mid range or higher ranges of mental illnesses still have a unique malady too imo, if their personal malady became 100% worse many people would be considered as such.

from now on i simply accept my dpdr lowers my mood on a daily basis on a 1-10 scale by about 3 points.
i make up for those 3 mood points by quite frankly, doing mid range controlled cannabis use, have fun w responsible recreational drug use, and also use ssris. i just simply made that compromise, i need to medicate myself to have the mood of a person who is without this. the same mood if i hadnt been born with this brain condition.

3 points in mood not so bad to me. i can medicate myself into a consistently 7-10 mood range if i use cannabis, ssris, etc. at the end of my life i probably did lose 10-20 years of health for all the meds i plan to take until then. however since the average lifetime is over 90 for a person my age the doctors claim, i think if i make it to 60-70 without disability is just fine. i happen to have dpdr and am able to be in a consistent 7-10 mood on the daily, personally for me it takes creatively medicating myself. and i am not an addict, alcoholic, stoner or anything. how could a non dpdr person understand the level of self medication it takes for us to feel the mood we were supposed to have if not for this?

so okay do you mean that you figured after 5 years out that it will stay forever? if yes how? there are people who recovers after decades. what makes you believing this.

 

[Peter]

there are people who recovers after decades.

I really wonder how many years need to have passed for you to realize "this won't go away". 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? 30 years? What amount of time is required to crush your delusion?

 

[leminaseri]

I really wonder how many years need to have passed for you to realize "this won't go away". 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? 30 years? What amount of time is required to crush your delusion?

xDDD

 

[Trith]

I really wonder how many years need to have passed for you to realize "this won't go away". 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? 30 years? What amount of time is required to crush your delusion?

Technically, just because it has been there even for 30 years doesn't prove it won't go away. In the same way, just because many people recover doesn't mean everybody eventually will. We just don't know for sure. But if you have had it for two months, you have more chances to recover in the next month than someone who has had it for 10 years. So it's normal to start seeing on the long term when we have already had it for a long time.
But anyway, that's not what "chronic" means. It doesn't have a clear definition. Just looking it up, some say that it must have lasted for three months, for a year, for a "long time", or some say that it typically may not be curable.