[Guest]

As some of you may of read untill this week I didnt realise that dp could be a seperate dx. It was only when I was hugely embarrased feeling uncomfortable and trying to explain exactly why I had acted the way I had over the last few weeks to my psychiatrist that he formally added this dx to the pot.

I was trying to explain why I had self harmed. I was saying that its not something im addicted to. its not an attention thing or a way to feel better but that its just a way to try and bring myself back to reality. To feel normal, less seperated before it gets any worse. Does that make any sense to any of you at all?

Sometimes the dp is worse then others. Right now its fairly bad. In the last few weeks ive been sectioned by the police after walking in front of traffic on a dual carriage way, made cuts to my throat etc etc etc
But the thing is non of it feels real whilest its happening. I dont feel any emotions, I dont think I want to die. Its kind of like ive walked into some 18 rated video game???
Its just that, everything around me doesnt really seem real. I know what it is. At the time im not psychotic .Its all so surreal.
God, this is all so hard to explain.

Also do any of you find that even small amounts of alcohol make dp worse?
Sorry for the jumble of words here.

 

[Guest]

I think I understand - sort of like auto pilot you mean?

Don't worry - it is very difficult to explain sometimes.

 

[Guest]

yes auto pilot.
watching as an uniterested third party. Watching the whole thing folding out before you but it feeling completely like its not you or anyone connected to you.
Like watching a boring tv show.
So hard to explain.

 

[berlin]

yeah lorna, I cant appreciate danger the way I used to. If I have a close shave racing to work in the car its forgotten as soon as it happens. And as for my poor boys they are developing their own risk assesment because I'm so laid back about their adventuring!
By the way I used to selfharm to escape strong emotion, not to bring myself back to reality, check out http://www.siari.co.uk for some understanding. Take care.