[Isobel]

I was wondering before dp depression etc ( or perhaps still now) how many 'change' their personality in order to fit in with thier environment eg: work, social gatherings, friends and even message boards etc
or whether they stick to certain principles.
i find that i want to be the same in any situation and dont neccessarily 'harness' anything in front of others

i notice dp'ers tend to feel they dont fit in and that people dont like them , and wonder whether its OUR perception or a real situation. i felt like this at work, and voiced a concern to my manager, which she said wasnt the case and i wasnt actually what i believed, this then made me very vunerable to my whole belief system/ outlook . . but of course i didnt want to question/ change my outlook for fear of ' collapse'. this was i guess an example of 'anhilliation anxiety'
i guess this comes from school, and sort of expect not to 'fit in' , but ive always felt i couldnt adhere to the 'certain way you had to be', and in my view, anyone who fell short of adapting , was seen as inadequate
Wondered if anyone else had thoughts on similar experiences

thanks

 

[kchendrix]

I think I might have been chameleon like at some points in my life. Wanting to say the right things around the right people... Like maybe acting a little bit different then I would just to kind of fit in with certain people... But I don't think I do that now. I think I act how I really am around any people.. Now certainly when in church I don't tell any dirty jokes.... but I think I am pretty much me around who ever.

KC

 

[Guest]

Hi there,
I think what is important to remember about DP, is that it has a tendency to distort one's reality. So...with that in mind, I think its always best to just be yourself in any and every situation. Being "true to yourself" in your beliefs and values is what makes you "who you are". Besides...if what ever character flaws you might have (and we all have them), the "Universe" usually sees that you are reminded of these things in order to give you a chance to correct them. I know it works that way in "Tony's World"...regardless of how insane and misguided it can be at times.

I wish you peace.

Tony

 

[Scattered]

This is a problem. I truely do not know who I am. I don't know why I am. I hold beliefs, ideas, notions, etc but feel more like the container of these ideas rather than a unique personality.

I truely don't know how to act and when I do act, it always feels false, forced, and unreal. If I was to be "who I really am" I would walk the streets screaming at people begging for sympathy and generally acting like a psycho. The real me is the sum of my neurotic tendencies that begs to be wanted and understood.

 

[Monkeydust]

This is a pretty common question, and I don't think for a second that it's one asked only by people with DP or other mental conditions.

I think there's very few people who actually have some "rigid" personality - a set of consistent behaviours, attitudes, mannerisms, forms of response etc - which they employ consistently, in the same way, in every situation. It seems to be more the case that, whilst we still retain some basic "core", we act differently around different people and in different situations. An obvious example is the difference people draw between how they are at work and with their friends.

Some people probably change more than others. For some the "real me" may in fact be a person who alters themselves to different situations. But I think the basic issue is not a thing to worry about.

A more unique attitude is this...

This is a problem. I truely do not know who I am. I don't know why I am. I hold beliefs, ideas, notions, etc but feel more like the container of these ideas rather than a unique personality.

I think these kind of feelings come on for various reasons - perhaps social isolation, some underlying tensions, life crises, whatever - but at the same time they are only feelings. You are always someone, it's clear that you have a consistent personality just from posts on this board (without even having met you guys).

Recovery lies in the recognition that these are only feelings, and that they represent nothing more significant or serious than that.

 

[fingertingle]

This is a problem. I truely do not know who I am. I don't know why I am. I hold beliefs, ideas, notions, etc but feel more like the container of these ideas rather than a unique personality.

I truely don't know how to act and when I do act, it always feels false, forced, and unreal. If I was to be "who I really am" I would walk the streets screaming at people begging for sympathy and generally acting like a psycho. The real me is the sum of my neurotic tendencies that begs to be wanted and understood.

Wow, exactly.