G
Guest
·I am totally discouraged now cause anxiety just hit me and it is not just anxiety.
I was doing better for some weeks and today in the morning I was really calm and all, and then I even felt energetic and then suddenly I am down.
It is obvious that it is related to the energetic state, it is like when I feel good I inevitably fall into a pit.
In this case falling into a pit means:
I suddenly get empty and then I am afraid of being institutionalized(maybe a symbol of feeling so out of control). The thought of being institutionalized scares the hell out of me because I am afraid of being labeled mentally ill and not in charge of my life and I am the hell afraid of being at some doctors mercy that can do just anything to me and I am nothing.
Then after the emptiness I get anxious and I feel like I break down and cry. It is as if every grip fades and I can't hold on to my surroundings and everythings breaks off and I am floating alone in an empty space. I am like freaking out at that point.
I could fortunately calm down but I am still like I had experienced death.
I am so discouraged because I was doing better before and then suddenly I break down and it seems every brighter moment leads to hell.
Please anybody help I am so messed up right now.
I was doing better for some weeks and today in the morning I was really calm and all, and then I even felt energetic and then suddenly I am down.
It is obvious that it is related to the energetic state, it is like when I feel good I inevitably fall into a pit.
In this case falling into a pit means:
I suddenly get empty and then I am afraid of being institutionalized(maybe a symbol of feeling so out of control). The thought of being institutionalized scares the hell out of me because I am afraid of being labeled mentally ill and not in charge of my life and I am the hell afraid of being at some doctors mercy that can do just anything to me and I am nothing.
Then after the emptiness I get anxious and I feel like I break down and cry. It is as if every grip fades and I can't hold on to my surroundings and everythings breaks off and I am floating alone in an empty space. I am like freaking out at that point.
I could fortunately calm down but I am still like I had experienced death.
I am so discouraged because I was doing better before and then suddenly I break down and it seems every brighter moment leads to hell.
Please anybody help I am so messed up right now.