[livinginhell333]

Well....here is my story and i think i have DP/DR but i've never been diagnosed, but i'm pretty sure that is what it is. I feel so alone, dead, lifeless, i want to be normal, but at the same time i'm scared. Sometimes i get suicidal thoughts, but lately it has been better, it feels like i'll be stuck forever, i took risperdal didn't like that and now i am taking abilify. anyways this is how it started. in november i smoked weed with a few friends and i guess i smoked too much or something, cuz i smoked a few times before and i was fine, but time i got so paranoid, i couldn't sleep, all i could do was think at nite. it felt like i was in a dream, i still feel like im in a dream, and its been 3 months and i don't know what to do. i think i will get better, and i just got to pray to god. Neways i think the weed was too potent or there was something else mixed in it like PCP or something, my friends smoked more than me and they were fine the next day. I guess everyone is different, people react differen't to different things. I feel like i will be stuck forever, i fee flat emotionally like i'm always out if it. It feels like my mind has disappeared as has my soul as well. i just want to get back to normal, but without the anxiety. i was fine b4 i started smoking weed. i've only done it 4 times, but now i'm at a loss for words. I'm glad that there are other people suffering from this and not just me, hopefully i get better soon

i ruled out any physical problems, got blood test, 3 ekgs i wen't to the hospital 3 times in december and my x-mas and new years were horrible. i also feel like i have lost interest in things. I even had a stress test done, checked for thyroid, 0nly thing that wasn't checked was my brain. should i see a neurologist so he can check if i have any brain diseases? i really feel out of my body at all times, but like i still do alright in school, i don't know how. i'm 20 years old and my friends and I wanted to smoke cuz my b-day was coming up. This has just been a horrible expierience.

I don't know who i am anymore, where i wen't. I try to ask god for answers, but sometimes seems he doesn' t listen. i've seen 2 psychtrists and both said that give it time and one doctor said the old me will come back by the summer, i hope a little sooner than that. also, like when i watch tv things seem weird. like body movements and stuff, maybe my eyes can't focus, but its weird and hard to explain. i just want to feel again, anything pain pleasure i want my soul back. sometimes i think the risperdal did this to me, because it blocks serotonin and dopamine, so i'm going to take a lighter drug now abilify that can act as a dopamine agonist and I am goin to try an antidepressant as well, i was thining of effexor. its like if someone pinches me or i run into a wall i don't feel it. is that normal? I just feel like i'm living in hell. my psych's are pretty nice. one told me about a story of his friend in a mental hospital for 1 year and got better within 6 months and now is rich and my main psych said she smoked weed a few times , which is funny, because she's old now, and i just don't see her doing that, but yea. I have also had a lot of stress from being away from home, my mom used to have cancer and has had numerous surgeries for her cancer and intestinal blockages, but she made it through cuz of her strength and i kno i can. the mind is powerful as hell and it plays tricks on you. i try telling my family how i feel, but they don't understand, it actually makes it worse, so i don't kno who to go to anymore. i guess my pdocs kinda understand, but this board could help me, i'm already getting obsessive compulsive with checking this board, not good for my health. well thats me, and my life sux rite now, o and a good song to listen to not really motivgational but i like this song. nappy roots sick and tired. it relates to me a lot. also dmx slippin. that song describes me a little as well and dmx is one of my fav artists. he has bi-polar and is a little crazy, but i would kill to see him in concert. i heard he is one of the most energizing artists and gives great performances.

 

[Guest]

yes sounds like dp to me i and alot of other people get it from drugs like marijuana just read the stickies. I have had it for a little over a year now and it has sucked my life away but slowly im starting to recover by not lettin it get the best of me until i become strong enough to conquer this thing. Just remember your not alone and there are others just like you, just hang in there i think the drug induced sufferers recover more quickly. Anyways welcome and im sure you will learn steps on how to become "normal" again, it takes time, i just try not to think deep thoughts whenever i do get deep thoughts, i start counting from 1-100 as fast as i can. Good Luck

 

[Monkeydust]

It sounds a lot like DP and anxiety. You certainly haven't damaged your brain - if the pot was laced with PCR your friends would have been affected too.

There's not reason why you shouldn't get better, you may need therapy, medication or just to give it a little time - but I'm sure you'll be ok.

You could see a neurologist, but really it would only be useful to put your mind at ease; any brain damage would have to have been caused by something other than the pot, and that seems incredibly unlikely in the circumstances.

One thing I will say is that I'm uncertain as to whether you should be taking antipsychotics medication for this, it seems a bit strong and probably won't help too much in my opinion.