Hey I'm Sam, I think I've had DPDR for about 2 months now, but I can't really remember much from around the time that it started.
It was very mild at first, it definitely disturbed me but I treated it more like a 'oh this is new' kinda thing than a mental illness. It wasn't until a girl I liked started glorifying it that it got a lot worse. My emotions slowly numbed, the illness became more frequent and blaringly obvious and I started regularly crying in my reflection as a mix of a sudden emotional outburst and a horrible forboding feeling of discomfort in my own body.
The weekend before last I was completely alert and emotionally stable, I thought it had gone. But then I relapsed, and whilst doing so I had the single worst panic attack I have ever had - and it all finished with breaking my SH clean streak in an attempt to go back to feeling normal again. It didn't work obviously lol.
Now it's slowly getting worse, and I cant see it stopping anytime soon. I've started to try and meditate, sing whenever I'm unoccupied to keep my mind active, but nothing's working for me and I've just came out of a bad depersonalisation episode.
Any tips on recovery would be appreciated, I've heard that forums are a terrible idea for recovery but this really is my last chance before it becomes genuinely serious.