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Slowly getting worse with no signs of stopping

1454 Views 6 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  Omnismorss
Hey I'm Sam, I think I've had DPDR for about 2 months now, but I can't really remember much from around the time that it started.
It was very mild at first, it definitely disturbed me but I treated it more like a 'oh this is new' kinda thing than a mental illness. It wasn't until a girl I liked started glorifying it that it got a lot worse. My emotions slowly numbed, the illness became more frequent and blaringly obvious and I started regularly crying in my reflection as a mix of a sudden emotional outburst and a horrible forboding feeling of discomfort in my own body.
The weekend before last I was completely alert and emotionally stable, I thought it had gone. But then I relapsed, and whilst doing so I had the single worst panic attack I have ever had - and it all finished with breaking my SH clean streak in an attempt to go back to feeling normal again. It didn't work obviously lol.
Now it's slowly getting worse, and I cant see it stopping anytime soon. I've started to try and meditate, sing whenever I'm unoccupied to keep my mind active, but nothing's working for me and I've just came out of a bad depersonalisation episode.
Any tips on recovery would be appreciated, I've heard that forums are a terrible idea for recovery but this really is my last chance before it becomes genuinely serious.

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I have some advice and tips for recovery but just remember everyones different and my advice may not be helpful as everyones different in recovering but it could be and i hope it helps in some way. Please dont be discouraged youve had a relapse in dp. For alot of people, you can go in and out of it and alot of times while recovering, you will have relapses but the fact that you were able to feel normal again is a great sign! I also dont know if i ever became fully recovered myself since im still plagued with existential/philosophical thoughts but most of the other symptoms of dp for me disapeared and only reappear when im really stressed so as someone whos at least mostly recovered, heres some of my tips:

-try seeing a therapist, espessially before you possibly get worse, ones that specialize in dissociation, depression, existential issues and ocd are the best ones for this type of thing

-research dissociation as a illness and try and figure out why you have it. If theres a reason for why its occuring, then you can tackle whatever is causing it in you, for example: depression and grief was the cause for mine.

-reach out to your family or possibly friends if your close enough to them. People can have good insight and help you see in a different perspective with certain things, also it can help to know if someone you know has ever experianced similar things than you.

-get a journal or something to write or type out your thoughts so your mind can make sense of the thoughts going around your head.

-this is a important one but get out as much as you can and do things that stimulate your mind like hobbies or games or whatever has made you happy in life because it helps you think more positivly and helps you stay out of your head when its just circulating all those horrible dp feelings and thoughts around endlessly and when your back home, it makes it a little easier to tackle your dp when it gets worse again. Though some days, despite going out or doing things, you might not feel the dp has gone away at all but dont be discouraged, you just gotta be consistent and youll start having better days.

I probably have more that helped me but i cant think of anymore right now but i hope this helps.
"Forums are a terrible idea for recovery" ahh, I thought the same before making an account but it can be quite the opposite. It gives you a sort of comfort knowing that people can relate to every symptom you've experienced and that being afraid at the beginning phase of onset is also normal. It's been almost 2 years for me with this disorder and I still freak myself out and cry about how frustrating it is to live with this but I like to come on here every now and then to remind myself I'm not the only one. I've gotta be honest, over the last couple of years it did progressively get worse but that's also because I isolated myself and didn't have the support I needed from anyone. You HAVE to ground yourself! You've gotta find the willpower to not stop doing any of the things that make you happy and please make sure to surround yourself with people who try to understand what you're going through. This disorder usually stems from stress (look up fight or flight response) so remember to level yourself out when you can. Some people have had success with medication and others find peace of mind by meditating like you mentioned and/or therapy. Everyone's different. Some live with this their whole lives and others overcome it with time. Don't put yourself down if you don't see this go away in another month or a year. The more you dwell on it the worse it will get, TRUST ME!
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