I feel so terrible. Sorry to keep moaning. I literally feel like the worst human on the planet. I have no emotional positivity, I am increasingly consumed by the certainty that my life is a complete mess and that life, in general, is utterly futile. I cannot get any enjoyment from anything. I am always exhausted. I am certain I will never change. I hate having to working in this poxy job, for what? What's the point?. I hate everyone I meet. I want revenge, vengence...for what, I don't know. I'm getting fat, I drink too much. I take too many Clonazepam (the ONLY thing that EVER makes me feel even slightly happy). I have a mouthfull of ulcers. I am useless at everything. I want to disembowel the people here at work who are flitting around in excitement about the........new paintwork in the office. :roll: My flat is a dingy hole. I'm running out of money, again. My new girlfriend adores me but I couldn't give a damn. I just want to sleep and never wake up. Everything is so bloody hopeless. What am I even doing here?