[falling_free]

I find that I feel well all the time now, that Instead of having a coucniousness, I am simply silence, no words inside, just silence, unable to verbally communicate, the silence between thoughts, hmmm how tao. :lol: .

I have always been quiet and reserved, not much of a talker, but now I dont even have much desire to talk and I am constantly deconstructing langauge as almost an automated process .

In fact when I was younger I always used to enjoy the thought and the feeling of just lieing down closing my eyes and not thinking, not thinking anything just feeling non exsistent and in a warm void, and I would often consider if infact this state would be a better state, no thoughts, no form, no coucniosness, just in a deep sleep forver

I just have almost zero want to talk to anyone.

 

[Scattered]

I can't even enjoy silence, for physical and psychological reasons. Physically I have tinnitus, so I often can't even lay in a warm soundless void, theres always an obnoxious ringing. Psychologically, Its almost impossible to stop my mind from thinking, ruminating, obsessing, or just generally going off on pointless tangents. I can understand how a lack of thought, feeling, sound, could be comforting. Assuming this also meant a complete lack of anxiety or negative feelings as well.

 

[Mule]

tinnitus.. ive had a ringing noise in my ear (only when in complete silence) ever since i can remember, is this tinnitus?

 

[agentcooper]

yup...it sure is. it ranges from not too bad to really loud.