I have always been shy, and still am to an extent, but when I was young I was painfully shy to the point that it was debilitating. I spent a lot of time alone, just thinking, lost inside my own head. Even though I have overcome my shyness (to some extent, I am still very introverted) I still spend much of my time in my head just thinking about stuff instead of acting, and I often feel alienated from the real world. I am convinced that my shyness is one of the main things that contributed to my DP.
Oh, and I also have that fear of talking in front of people.. it sometimes takes a lot of courage just to raise my hand in class when we are having a discussion. I don't think the people in my classes realize how incredibly difficult it is for me to say something in these discussions, while it just SEEMS to come naturally to most of them.....
it was weird for me - i was a very outgoing person, but was also very shy - these two seem very contradictory. i always excluded myself, and since dp i am still an outgoing person (as in helping others and that), but only when there is no one else around to praise me, and i always exlcude myself, and am even shyer - is that a word? oh well. i also hate being with big groups of people, i dont like being noticed.
I don't remember too clearly that far back (I'm 21 now), but apparently I was fairly open and happy and friendly between the ages of about 2 through to about 6 or 7...and then after that I became extremely shy and introverted - the same time I began to experience my depersonalization (and depression followed shortly after).
My shyness depends on who im around, a lot of the time I just brood and kind of stay in my won little world when im around people I don't know, but with people I know well I like talking with them at lengh about any subject that may interest me and I am more impulsive and open.
I was shy in groups but not with individuals.
The communication in our family was practically nil and I was left alone most of the time after my birth. My physical needs were not neglected, but my intellectual and emotional needs were ignored. I have very distinct memories of feeling lonely, ignored, unimportant, unconnected, and BORED as far back as my first birthday. I know that I spent enormous amounts of time with only my own thoughts for company.
I guess it's no surprise that I got this problem, since I practiced it for 15 years first.
My shyness has disappeared for the most part. I am no longer shy because I often feel like I have nothing to be shy about. That's what DP does to you afterall; it causes you to lose your sense of self, and with that lost, how can you expect to feel embarassed or shy? My peers say I'm one of the most laid back and calm people around. If only they knew...
I was a very shy child and played by myself for a lot of my childhood. I started to become social in the 6th grade. My DP started at the end of the 8th grade. After years of struggle with social anxiety, I had my first date at age 29. I am still paralized, if I have to speak in front of large groups.
Why was i so goddamn late finding this site, all of the interesting polls were last responded to nearly a year ago! This is for that fellow sole reader out there like me. Ive always been very shy. I distinctly remember in kindergarten refusing to eat lunch with all of the other kids so they put me at a seperate table by myself and the lunch aid i think kept me company from time to time. I remember feeling so damn different from everyone, confused, i dont even know, also VEEEEEEEERY anxious. If i have a presentation in college i dread it from the moment i find out about it to when i present. I suck it up and do it cause i put my middle finger up to my fear and do it anyway. So im up there presenting and shaking, can barely f ucking breathe, while totally aware of my peers reactions and how i must appear to them, my brain as foggy as (insert clever simile here), somehow managing to spit out words that i thankfully mostly memorized prior to the presentation. I tell myself, "who gives a shit about these people, what they think of you, it all doesnt matter anyway" and try to envision the BIG picture, and it just doesnt help. I always feel like i have to get my words out perfectly when having a conversation, even as i write this i want it to come out good and sound intelligent. This usually makes it hard to get anything out of my mouth cause im trying to choose between multiple responses available in my head to find the best one that sounds the most intelligent. When DP is bad i often just keep thinking to myself while someone is talking to me, what am i going to say to this person, how should i continue this conversation, there going to think im stupid and boring. Talking in front of my family, fucking forget that shit.
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