[lilbxan]

So my whole life I've been labelled as the quiet and shy girl, and it's always been so damaging to my self esteem to constantly hear this, as I want more than anything to be the loud and confident one with many friends.

The truth is I don't really have any friends at all and for a long time I've socially isolated myself, I have self esteem issues and issues with my appearance and probably over analyze EVERYTHING, I'm very much in my own head.

But when I think of a shy person I think of someone who can't keep eye contact and they're very too themselves, they don't say much because they are scared of getting judged, but they know what it is they want to say, for me the issue isn't exactly that, I'm labelled as the quiet one I think because I don't talk much and I don't share stories like everyone else does and I only say a sentence wait for a response and then another sentence, but that's because my brain feels EMPTY/BLANK pretty much ALL the time, I can't think of things to say any stories or anything that relevant to the situation im in, I know people who talk ENDLESSLY to their friends and peers, and im always baffled by how they can continously think of things to say

let me say that I initially thought this was just a problem with new people but I've realised that this is also an issue with family and people who im super close with, I suffer from generalized anxiety and depersonalization (dissociative disorder) maybe this is why I seem to be frequently void of thought?

 

[FranticallyNumb]

Ditto, but for me this kind of shyness started well...it’s been 10 years now lol. But gosh do I hate it. I feel so boring. It’s like I know I have a lot of potential to say a lot but I just can’f. Sorry you deal with this *hugs*

 

[FranticallyNumb]

By “shyness” I mean blank mind/dissociation

 

[Alan]

If you're like me you'll notice that lots of people talk but don't actually say anything.

Conversations and groups have their own ebb and flow, and a few people will generally dominate any conversation - I find it's better just to follow it. I feel allowing others to be the center of attention is a psychologically healthy attitude, and not contributing isn't a failing, especially if you can't get a word in.

Confidence and assertiveness certainly have their place, but you can possess both qualities quietly

 

[Katieaw21]

Try not to put so much pressure on yourself to be loud/confident or worry about it so much. But also try to involve yourself in the outside world more, nothing wrong with being quiet but it's bad to get stuck in that negative black hole of your mind bc it's hard to get out. I'd take things slowly and one step at a time. Accept you'll never be as loud as some other people but find that balance when you're happy with how you are but can make some positive changes that won't make you too anxious

 

[yoloking123]

You would dfinitely know if you had DP/DR! This i assure you. Social anxiety is just anxiety of the mind telling you not to be quiet or saying this wont sound cool. Simple as that.