Sexuality and Dp/Dr

Eh, if you haven't questioned everything in the universe -- including your sexuality -- then you're just not doing DP right! Seriously though, lots of people here have questioned their existence, their reality, their personality and of course their sexuality. Questioning everything and fearing everything is sorta a big part of DP. In "Feeling Unreal" Simeon says there's a lot of evidence that points towards DP being tied into fear of rejection and I couldn't agree more. I know for me I have tons of shame and fear of rejection that date back to childhood and not being accepted by my father. I went through a stage in high school when my DP was pretty bad where I was constantly questioning my sexuality and losing my mind over whether I was gay or not -- even though I had absolutely no attraction to men.

So what you got off on something unconventional? Welcome to the realm of sexuality. It's all on a spectrum and nobody is really in the middle as much as society likes you to believe. The more you stress about it, think about it and reject yourself for it the worse it will bother you. Instead try and embrace it, be proud of it, welcome it. These are the things that make you human and considering DP makes you feel so much like a robot you should love all that weird stuff even more!

Well, I believe you already know whether you're gay or straight. Do you want intimate relationships with men? Do you have a desire for sexual contact with males? Those questions will tell you everything you need to know regarding your orientation. But you must also know that either way, it's not a big deal. I have had what I would call man-crushes, where I look at a guy and say "wow, he's attractive" - and I've also fantasized about being a different man at certain points in my life. Yet at the same time, I have only been intimate (and had relationships) with women. The fact that the female element of the transgenderism appeals to you most tells me that you're more straight than gay. But again, any sort of fluidity or doubt in this area is normal. I wouldn't worry about it in the least. There is so much wiggle room in the middle too. You may be 5% gay, 95% straight, for instance. Or you may go through different phases where you prefer one gender more than the other. Again, it's all fine. Can you tell us why it bothers you so much?

It's OCD not Depersonalization. I have OCD too and have had similar thoughts. If you like the other sex you wouldn't be disturbed by the thoughts. You have Pure O OCD like I do. Just like treating Depersonalization treating Pure O OCD involves you not forcing yourself to not think of the thoughts but rather divert your thoughts to something else. You can't control what you think but you can control how you react to your thoughts. First you need to determine if the thought is irrational or not. If it is then decide before you have the thought again that it is irrational. When you have the thought recognize it as an irrational thought and then divert your attention to something else. For instance when I have an irrational thought come into my mind i divert my thoughts to kittens. (random I know but it works). Focus your thoughts on something that is going to keep your attention. Anytime you have this thought continue the steps of diverting your attention. It will take practice but eventually your mind will do it on its own. Hope this helps

I'm sorry you're going through so much pain man. You're right I haven't experienced that. I was just trying to help. There are things in life that happen. Whether good or bad. Life happens and sometimes we regret mistakes we have made in life. I've never done what you have done so I can't relate per say exactly but where I can relate is in the fact that I have done things in my life that I regret doing. In fact a lot of people have in their lives. It happened man. It's something that you don't want to hear but it did. What does dwelling on it do? Nothing but make you miserable. Trying to avoid thinking about it makes you think about it even more. Think about it...really think about what happened. Really put yourself in that position again. Then accept it and forgive yourself and move on with your life. I hope im not coming off as a dick. I'm just telling you what has helped me in my life. I've had friends who were raped, abused, or did terrible things to themselves or others. I'm not trying to undermine any of these things that have happened. The ones who were able to move on with their lives were the ones who talked it out with others no matter how embarrassing it was. (psychologists, family, close friends.) The ones who were able to move on with their lives were the ones who accepted what happened but didn't let that thing define them. It's difficult and not something that is going to be easy. But trying to numb yourself from your thoughts is not going to help. Talk it out, forgive yourself, move on with your life man. Im not a psychologist im just someone who is trying to help.