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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey there, for a long time now i've been wandering around with the Depersonalization Disorder (since i was 8 or 10 to be exact) no surprise there. However, things have taken a dark turn lately, from the point of me having these panic attacks more often to the point of now having severe memory loss, sort of like a "linger" effect from the last attack that happened about 5 ish~ days ago. Never before have i felt this way after a panic attack regarding my DPD in any way, this is most likely the first time, i don't know what's going on, but i am sure as hell scared what will happen to me in the future, i remember what my name is, where i live and the people around me (along with those whom i got to know throughout the years), unfortunately however the attacks still happen and my memory keeps getting worse by each passing attack, for example: if i try to remember things i don't exactly recall doing (or even let's say, a game i played) i will sort of get a "post-trigger" that will spook me even more for some reason, as if it doesen't want me to try and remember or even build up my memory the way it was before..

I have no idea what's going on, but ever since this "lingering" effect i've been feeling alot more worse with each passing day, another example is, i have an Iphone 4s, i've downgraded it to IOS 6.1.3, but if i try and look at it even once the menu that is, i will get an instant panic attack and my memory will go blank once more. It's aburd! Not only is it frightening me but it's also making me very worried it will be permanent unless i do something :( i need your advice! i want to recover asap and move on with my life the way it used to be.. These thoughts are very frightening and only place i could go for now is here, i don't have an appointment until next week 10th. (or was it 11th?... i can't remember!!)

ANY advice would be deeply appreciated.. :(

P.S. i do sit around the computer alot, have ben since i was 8 or so, but these attacks happen eitherway even if i have been off the computer for a long time.
 

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I've been dealing with memory issues for the past seven months.

If it puts your mind at ease, I have the exact same cognitive issues that you list here. I have trouble recalling memories and there is almost a mental barrier when I try to remember something specific. I also have difficulties focusing on one task and will completely forget something in a matter of seconds if I am not giving it my undivided attention. I went to get an MRI just to make sure and it came back completely normal, which leads me to believe that this symptom is merely a component of anxiety.

In your case, I would say that it is much of the same. If you're having several panic attacks, it's clear that you have quite the anxious mind. It's been overworked and exhausted from all of this. When this happens, it can be hard to give your cognition the motivation that it needs to kick on and work 100%. I've also noticed that long stints on the computer can also exacerbate it. Since I'm in university and many of my courses are online, I typically spend 5-7 hours (after school) working on my course load. This typically makes the brain fog worse, but I haven't quite figured out why. Perhaps the abundance of information computers provide may be the cause.

Anyway, I honestly don't believe your memory problems are permanent. You aren't forgetful of things that would generally allude to something serious. It would be wise to get away from the computer for a bit also. Something that I've been trying for the past month (to pretty great results):

  • Make sure your diet fulfills all nutrient and vitamin requirements.
  • Exercise frequently and daily. Doesn't have to be strenuous, as long as you're getting out.
  • Get away from the computer and find a hobby outside - something that you enjoy and can easily take your attention.

Sometimes, I think we're so wrapped up in our own heads that it becomes difficult to process things cognitively. Especially when on the internet, our brain is working at triple the efficiency and is exhausting itself. If we give it time to relax and recuperate, we should be able to get it back on track. Have you thought about speaking to a therapist about your panic attacks?

Also, I see this is your first post. Welcome to the site! :cool:
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hey! Thank you so much for your response it really puts me at ease.. And thank you once more for the welcome! This place seems friendly enough :]

I have tried, and several times, in the past to stay away from the computer but the panic attacks kept on happening, i guess i need to keep trying since those were merley days (up to 3 maximum haha..) and i spend time outside rarley anyways which could be a even bigger problem :/

As for the therapist, not quite, i have made an appointment for one and will go in given date, i am still confused wether it is 10th or 11th.. Eitherway, these memory blockages are very very scary in my oppinion :s the way you described it is exactly how it goes in my head, sort of like a "mental barrier" to which doesen't allow me to reach a certain point in remembering..

My eating habbit isn't that great either, which might be a problem aswell, i rarley eat any food that has iron in it, I.E meat or fish or even others, i haven't had an orange, banana or even an apple in ages, i guess i should start slowly from the top and work my way down hah..

I should have mentioned i have had a pretty traumatizing childhood too ranging from home to school, not my best years i will tell you :/ but i will try your suggestions and see where they lead, let's just hope these panic attacks won't happen anymore.. they occur, strangely enough, regardless of what i do even if i am not on the computer..

But nonthenless, i hope your suggestions will work out for me, i am so grateful people out there are willing to help! :]
 
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