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Hello everyone,

I've come to this site many times over the past several years to lurk around but I've never posted anything of my own. Things have significantly worsened though, so I'd make a start here.

Back in September 2007 when I was sixteen, I was play wrestling with a cousin of mine. While doing so, my head was pressed into the ground by most of his weight and a rounded rock pressed very hard into my right temple. At that moment, I felt a hot rush through that side of my head along with some pins and needles. It didn't hurt terribly, I even went on to wrestle him around a bit more before stopping. When I did, there was a pulse in my temple and with a strange heated sensation, both under and on the skin. On top of that I could hear a strange rushing sound in my right ear, as if it were under water. This worried me a bit, but I carried on as if nothing had happened. The next day, something was off about the world. I couldn't really put my finger on it, just that something wasn't right and the skin over my temple remained hot and felt full of pins and needles. The day after, the headaches came and boy were they awful. A constant throbbing pressure in my temples so powerful that sometimes I thought my head would burst. But there was something much worse going on, and that was that the world suddenly looked different. It's hard to explain even to this day, but it all seemed fake, surreal, and lifeless. Gone were the beautiful landscapes I used to enjoy looking at and instead they looked like barren wastelands with nothing to offer. It's like everything I was seeing was being put through a filter that stripped everything of emotion.

My parents booked me a doctor's appointment and I received a CAT scan. Everything came back normal, and the doctors sent me on my way. The headaches went away after three months, and the pressure died down after a year. Still though, my derealized state remained, and even worse was that no one had a clue what I was talking about when I tried to explain it to them, even the doctors. Two years later, I had a 5-hour Energy and the headaches returned, along with further derealization. Three years later, I was in a car accident that left me with another bout of headaches and worsened derealization. Finally, five years on (just nine months ago) I started looking for a pick-me-up, something to get me out of the funk of feeling so detached from the world. I settled on a "nootropic" called Phenibut. Probably the biggest mistake so far since my injury. After taking this supplement my derealization sky-rocketed. I went back to the doctor for the first time in years to find some relief and was prescribed Adderall to help "ground" me. Another mistake that while not as bad as my Phenibut mishap certainly did my brain no favors. So that's where I'm at now. While my derealization started out as making the world look lifeless, now it truly looks like a nightmare.

Anyway, that's my story. Sorry for the wall of text but I guess I just had to vent a little bit. Everyone else thinks I'm crazy when I try to explain it to them. I think the worst part about all of this is that my life seems emotionally dead. I used to be able to look back on my life before the DR and it seemed full of flavor and color while my life after it is just...blank, lacking any nostalgia. Let it be known that after I took Phenibut my ability to conjure up old nostalgia also disappeared. I know most of you have DP, often brought on by anxiety and weed (oddly enough, weed didn't bother my DR at all, though I don't think I'll try it again; I certainly don't need to add DP into the mix) but I wonder if any of you have a similar story to mine in which their DR/DP was set off by an injury involving the head. At this point in time I feel it has something to do with nerve damage, simply due to the type of pain I have. Anyway, I'm just not sure where to go from here. Knowing that this problem is probably incurable, along with the fact that it's only getting worse, is a very tough pill to swallow. I just wish I could go back.

If you got to the end of this, thank you for taking the time to read it.
 

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Hey I really can't relate due to my symptoms being very different but I can reassure you that many here on this forum have experienced this or are still experiencing this to this day. Many here are struggling with lost nostalgia or no emotions and are trying to power through.

I really hope you search into these forums to find these users as they can probably help you along, good luck my friend
 

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Thats sad man there is definitely something in our brains changed while having dp/dr. Although i got my almost completely cured (have few slight symptoms left) and it was so horrible and chronic but wasn't weed induced and i found ways and things that effectively works for that hell but i dont know what i would recommend you it looks like its some different situation something in your brain definitely got messed up but i think effects from Phenibut and adderal are temporary just dont use it. Vitamins and mineral can hugely help, you need to correct any deficiency
 

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Dp/dr is set of symptoms everything is blank, gray, blurry, lifeless, unclear, and then symptoms like brain fog, unable to keep head straight, no concentration , anhedonia, fatigue.. Usually deficiencies like magnesium or D vitamin deficiency produce fatigue and weakness along with brain fog and makes your dp/dr feel worse so taking supplements is great option if you feel you have those. I dont know man i know what helped me for the most particulary for all visual/mental anomalies that come with derealisation it is intense exercising mostly riding bike for 4-5 hours you can try you have nothing to lost check my profile i posted some larger explaination not great english tho but you can understand it might help you going hard on physical aspect is best way to get out of this
 

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Dear friend,

I can relate to you so much,I have the EXACT same thing. You explained it so well Which I can't,for me I always had some kind of derealization when I was a young boy,didn't bother me I didn't think anything about it. But it got gradually worse,when I got several aural migraine the derealization was inhumanely bad.. life really slipped away and things started to look 2d,I really can't see any depth no joke. Alcohol also did make it worse,and last time I took magnesium L threonate, And I got hella lot of floaters and visual snow or some shit. Life is so dull and empty,I am so depressed.. myself is gone. But I have the hope and you should to that it can get better!! We need to find something that helps us,it's different for everyone. Take care you may pm me for a chat
 

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Dear friend,

I can relate to you so much,I have the EXACT same thing. You explained it so well Which I can't,for me I always had some kind of derealization when I was a young boy,didn't bother me I didn't think anything about it. But it got gradually worse,when I got several aural migraine the derealization was inhumanely bad.. life really slipped away and things started to look 2d,I really can't see any depth no joke. Alcohol also did make it worse,and last time I took magnesium L threonate, And I got hella lot of floaters and visual snow or some shit. Life is so dull and empty,I am so depressed.. myself is gone. But I have the hope and you should to that it can get better!! We need to find something that helps us,it's different for everyone. Take care you may pm me for a chat
Did u two test for mercury toxicity? There is definitely some underlying issue thats causing it all along with migraines.. Its not all anxiety try researching it
 

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Did u two test for mercury toxicity? There is definitely some underlying issue thats causing it all along with migraines.. Its not all anxiety try researching it
I did read about that,but I highly doubt it. For me I think it's anxiety and trauma,but it can't hurt to test it yes.
 

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I did read about that,but I highly doubt it. For me I think it's anxiety and trauma,but it can't hurt to test it yes.
May i ask do you have amalgams? Maybe you eat alot tuna i dont know still i read many stories people experience poisoning from those 2. I would search for everything migraines are usually indication of something else not anxiety and trauma maybe you have silent migraines. Life must be hard that way
 

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May i ask do you have amalgams? Maybe you eat alot tuna i dont know still i read many stories people experience poisoning from those 2. I would search for everything migraines are usually indication of something else not anxiety and trauma maybe you have silent migraines. Life must be hard that way
I have only got like 6 migraines my whole life,and everytime it was after working out. Like lifting weights or carrying things,but also not every time when I lifted weights just sometimes.. so it's weird.. like when i put to much pressure on my head. i get one
 

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Interesting those things are among these that made me to recovery of DPDR. During physical efforts brain works more and producing more neurons etc. so i thing it shouldnt hurt did u scan your head maybe it could tell u more
 

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Interesting those things are among these that made me to recovery of DPDR. During physical efforts brain works more and producing more neurons etc. so i thing it shouldnt hurt did u scan your head maybe it could tell u more
I have had an MRI,and an EEG. Both came back normal. I think they need to do more research between the relation dp/dr and migraines.. there is some connection. There is hapening something in the brain
 

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This may not help much but I am in the same boat as you. Dp/DR was set off after a fight and has gotten worse over the years from trying to self cure myself. I started smoking, this made it way worse. I've tried noopept, a nootropic similar to phenibut and boy did it feel like I was in hell for a year. Now recently I got into a sparring session because of work (in the military) and boy what a mistake, my dpdr is worse than ever.

Only advice I can really give you is take care of your health, mental and physical. Keep socializing and living your life like normal. There are somedays where I feel almost normal, but than something happens and I'm back in a slump again. We can't control everything that happens in life but we can control what we can do for and to ourselves.
 
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