I know exactly how you are feeling. I have a 5 year old and I really have to push myself hard to take care of her basic needs which so far I have been able to. I may feel horrible all the time and all day but I know the day I cant get out of bed to do things for her is the day I am really going to lose it.
I dont even feel love for her how horrid is that??Shes such a good kid. I used to LOVE watching her and being part of her life. Now its all I can do to get her ready for school.
I am normally such a ''normal'' happy person. I have no problems so thats why I cant understand why I cannot enjoy a single thing any more.
I think it has to do with the beginning of winter this time. I have been through a few bouts of long depressions in my life but this one has been lasting the longest.
I never took medication for it. I havent even gone to a therapist. I sometimes wish I could but not only do I not have the money, I cant turn to my fantastic husband and say I am depressed for no reason because there IS not reason but this horrid feeling all the time.
I AM doing alot better than I was a few weeks ago. I try to take it one day at a time. I try to get out FORCE myself, not easy cause I also have a bit of agoraphobia when I get like this.
Hang in there, it will pass. I am counting on my strenght to keep me in tact. Things hopefully will change for you and you can look back and say to yourself..''wow, what was I thinking then??''
Keep busy and dont think ''I should be feeling happy about this? why am I not?'' it makes you more anxious. Channel your thoughts to what you are doing not how you should or shouldnt be feeling. That helps me.
I totally can relate to how you are feeling.
I dont even feel love for her how horrid is that??Shes such a good kid. I used to LOVE watching her and being part of her life. Now its all I can do to get her ready for school.
I am normally such a ''normal'' happy person. I have no problems so thats why I cant understand why I cannot enjoy a single thing any more.
I think it has to do with the beginning of winter this time. I have been through a few bouts of long depressions in my life but this one has been lasting the longest.
I never took medication for it. I havent even gone to a therapist. I sometimes wish I could but not only do I not have the money, I cant turn to my fantastic husband and say I am depressed for no reason because there IS not reason but this horrid feeling all the time.
I AM doing alot better than I was a few weeks ago. I try to take it one day at a time. I try to get out FORCE myself, not easy cause I also have a bit of agoraphobia when I get like this.
Hang in there, it will pass. I am counting on my strenght to keep me in tact. Things hopefully will change for you and you can look back and say to yourself..''wow, what was I thinking then??''
Keep busy and dont think ''I should be feeling happy about this? why am I not?'' it makes you more anxious. Channel your thoughts to what you are doing not how you should or shouldnt be feeling. That helps me.
I totally can relate to how you are feeling.
