Yeh I have simliar delusional thoughts, if dp being somehow an 'evil' entity or some outside force taking contol of my body.
Im abstracted to A HUGE DEGREE also
I keep on thinking I see patterns everywehre in words shapes etc.
The crazy thing is , Im not crazy.
Anyway (I also think anyway is relevent somehow at thjis point, like showing different directions????) I have the same inabilty to descirbe waht teh fuck is going one without going into absurd automatic jabberwokky.