[terri*]

Would you say you parents were/are selfish?​

No, I would not consider my parents selfish.	37	43.53%
Yes, I consider my parent to be selfish.	48	56.47%

 

[terri*]

This has been on my mind today as I wondered if dp/dr'd peoples parents were more selfish/self-centered then a parent that they would consider normal.
What is normal? What is selfish? What is self-centered? Is it okay to be a selfish/self-centered parent?

Curious. Anyone have an opinion?

terri*

 

[kenc127]

Hi Terri!

My mom is extremely selfish, and so was my father. In fact, I think that most of the people here have/had selfish parents. I think that's a big part of why we have our current difficulties. I'd like to see the outcome of this poll. My prediction is that the majority will say 'yes'.

Ken

 

[Guest]

No, not selfish at all for my parents, in fact, it is the complete opposite.

 

[terri*]

See...I think this could be a very interesting topic. I forgot to put that my dad, at the time, was extremely selfish. Now he is an old man and I think the world of him. My mom, who is extremely selfish now, worked hard not to be when we were young. My brother said recently it showed how much she loved us to be able to rise above her selfishness. hmmm...

 

[Guest]

Total opposite of selfish. If anything, they were TOO doting, too "into" me at all times.

I think if there's a pattern, we'll see a pattern of extremes, rather than one or the other.

 

[Guest]

My parents were simply "absent" most of the time. They were there, and I don't think there was any active selfishness going on - they just weren't particularly involved in the whole parenting thing.
I don't think selfish would be the right word to describe them though.

 

[Guest]

Can I change my vote?

My parents just redeemed themselves tonight...although I figure all this attention from them was just a last ditch effort to fill their parental quota.

 

[bat]

just had mum and she's the opposite of selfish

 

[Guest]

--

 

[Guest]

I think if there's a pattern, we'll see a pattern of extremes, rather than one or the other

I agree with Janine.
Parents can be 'unselfish' and overprotective or overinvolved, which isnt good for a child's development either.
Also damage can be done in ways, you wont notice at first hand. Some
parenting-styles are insidious with out being able to see it directly on the surface. Those may be the worst to deal with as a grown up.

Dont know what that has got to do with selfishness, but thought of it.

I think its a good poll Terri, it surely 'hit' me...lol

 

[Guest]

I dunno, my mom wasn't/isn't extremely selfish or selfless, just kina in the middle. My father died when I was quite young, but from what I can remember, he was in the middle too. I think my mom was too caught up in raising two young girls to think about herself. And I know, compared to other people's parents that I know quite well, that, compared to them, she is not selfish in the least. From the opposite side, my grandmother is completely selfless, does everything for everyone, loves everyone, puts everyone first.

So I have to disagree, at least with my (immediate) family, there are no extremes when it comes to selfishness and unselfishness.

 

[kenc127]

Good call Janine lol. Dead even split.

 

[Guest]

Mine are both self-centered in different ways, but to use a single word - selfish!

 

[agentcooper]

my parents are so giving and wonderful! i am so lucky...

 

[Guest]

That's cool. It's good to hear about nice people. It cheers me up.

 

[Guest]

[Deleted]

 

[tia]

narcissistic, paranoid and skitsophrenic

 

[+[ thedeadpoet ]+]

I couldnt wish for more with the parents I have. I just cant avail of their councelling because as the weeks pass, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to speak. For the past four days I've been virtually mute.

 

[californian]

very, very good parents. it always made me feel kind of guilty for being screwed up in the head when i had such a good family situation...

now i realize it's something to do with the way i'm wired, and i don't beat myself up over it anymore...