[jc]

therepy is getting tough for me and i nearly threw in the towel this week,(disclaimer)im not mentioning names or places so i dont feel this is going against policy...

we talk in therepy and everyone bounces ideas off of each other but this week i was in my 'right im going to cause some friction' kind of a mood....we were all talking and i realised that my curiosity was still there as to wondering why these people got here in the first place,i meen if you dont know the root of the problem then how can you relate to someone,its hard to describe but all of these people are talking about everyday problems,which is fine but from day one ive told them exactly why 'i' am there ,anxiety ,panic dissorder,and everyweek when someone asks me how im feeling i will tell them...simple isnt it ?
but it was mentioned that i am maybe not listening to others problems

well ! i blew a fuse,i said to the therepist that i am not happy with that statement at all,i am still sitting here after 2 months wondering what each individuals root problem is and how the hell can i relate and help someone if i dont know what the problem is.sure i can help people and listen to people on there everyday problems but its not as if im sitting in a room full of alcoholics where i know that the problem is drink,as soon as i know the problem is drink then i can listen an advise on other aspects of there life...
ive had one person in a room full of eight tell me exactly why he ended up in therepy..

and another thing the first 10 mintues when the therepists walk in we sit in silence,i said i might as well bring a fucking book,and theres a couple that just sit there week after week and dont say a word

call me cynical but this is starting to smell of bullshit...no-one is talking about there problems they are just talking about everyday shit that i used to sit in the pub and talk about with my friends,im not looking for a magical answer to my problems i realise this but im not really getting 'advice' either ..

i dont know i nearly walked out last week so im going to give it another shot but whats the point of therepy if you dont try and face the root cause and most of all 'TALK'

 

[Guest]

I can relate 100% on this one, my therapist was the same exact way.. it gets quite redundant after a while.

My therapy sessions went something like

-Me sitting in silence waiting to express myself-

-Japanese Therapist who could barely speak a lick of english blabbing about impersonal generalized emotions-

-Me getting frustrated after her running off at the mouth for atleast 48 minutes and still not saying anything relative towards me and my disorders-

It's can be quite anger inducing. So, I dropped her an realized.. everything these therapists have to say, I already learned/know, because everything they say is the same message with different words.. and I know what I have to do, It's just hard and takes strong will that I DO have but am weak on right now cause of the severity of the disorders.

To sum it up, I feel that only puppets can sit in a therapists office for 2 hours everyday and listen to the same shit as if its helping them.

 

[gem]

jc, sometimes when people get together in a group for therapy it is very difficult for them. Some people may find it easier than others. From what you are expressing it sounds to me like they are nervous which is understandable. When you meet with a group of people you do not know it is very tough and can be upsetting. Those who may not say anything may not be feeling comfortable enough to share with others. This could also explain the others in the group talking about everyday things. It is also very possible that some or all may not know what made them ill in the first place. There may not be answers right away to why someone is ill. To speak openly is scarey. You are with people who do not know you and you are there to help each other, I believe part of helping each other whether one says anything at the time or not is part of the beginning process of group therapy.

Give yourself some time and give the others some time to get to know each other and you may see a difference. It is not easy to share feelings with strangers. If in time you feel the same it may not be the group for you. Please remember though, sometimes people do not know what is wrong and what caused them to have what we have.

gem.

 

[gem]

jc, sometimes when people get together in a group for therapy it is very difficult for them. Some people may find it easier than others. From what you are expressing it sounds to me like they are nervous which is understandable. When you meet with a group of people you do not know it is very tough and can be upsetting. Those who may not say anything may not be feeling comfortable enough to share with others. This could also explain the others in the group talking about everyday things. It is also very possible that some or all may not know what made them ill in the first place. There may not be answers right away to why someone is ill. To speak openly is scarey. You are with people who do not know you and you are there to help each other, I believe part of helping each other whether one says anything at the time or not is part of the beginning process of group therapy.

Give yourself some time and give the others some time to get to know each other and you may see a difference. It is not easy to share feelings with strangers. If in time you feel the same it may not be the group for you. Please remember though, sometimes people do not know what is wrong and what caused them to have what we have.

gem.

 

[jc]

the only problem i had was the fact that im the new one in the group and im the one expected to speak,which doesnt make sense to me,we just sit there for like 10 minutes in this uncomfortable silence,then someone will say 'john how are you feeling' so i answer then all the focus is on me which i cant stop,then i feel guilty for taking up all the talk time.....
if i go in this week and decide to just sit in silence i will be viewed as having a chip on my shoulder lol...but i get what your saying ,just give it time,but my curiosity kills me as to why these people are in this group..i think its only fair of others to open up if i do

 

[gem]

jc, I understand the frustration you must feel but when you say I think it is only fair for others to open up if I do is really not fair. Let me explain, you are going to therapy for help, the help is for you. It is important that you remember that you are the most important person in that room to you. You are the one who has to live with this illness and you are the one who has to learn to cope in this illness. Now, I am not saying that these people are not important because they are all human beings are important, what I am saying is you are number one. In order for you to recieve help you must work hard at it and that means trying to work through what it is that is bothering you, you should not be worrying about how others are behaving, every individual is unique, everyone will have their own way of opening up. If while you are in the group and you can open up a bit then remember that you are opening up to try and help yourself. You may not be able to open up right away and your doctor should not expect you to open up right away, maybe the one you should express yourself to is your doctor, maybe by talking to him and also the group you can tell them how you feel and by doing so others may join in, They too may express their feelings of fear in opening up in a group, always remember that when others may not be saying something they could be feeling afraid to open up. You could look at this in another way, a positive way, you could have more courage and understanding than you think, you may be able to help others open up to help themselves. It would be a nice feeling I would think to walk away from your group and know that instead of being angry with them you helped them express how truly afraid they were by being there. This will help you on the road to recovery. When I feel angry at something I step back a bit and think for a while and say to myself now how can I make this situation turn into something positive and most of the time giving that moment of relaxation I can feel good about what has been accomplished. If I go into something angry then I or anyone else will get anything positive from it, only pain and we all know that the one thing we all need do not need when going to therapy is more pain. I hope things go well for you and I hope I helped a little.

gem.

 

[jc]

you helped alot thankyou gem
it has been suggested on many occasions that if i help others then i will feel better about myself,but stuck in this mental cage its so difficult to see anothers point of view,i try to help others but it always seems to be on a materealistic level,plus i dont have alot of trust in human beings and i find it very hard to show affection towards others,i must admit though that after every session i feel grounded and a little bit better so it must be doing me some good

thanks

jc

 

[gem]

jc, you are welcome. Thank you for letting me try and help a bit. I think you will do very well in therapy. You will probably help others. I know how you feel about trust, trust is a precious thing in life. All it takes sometimes for one person to hurt us and we isolate ourselves from the world. It is painful. Please remember though one person can make it hard to ever trust again but there could be twenty people who you could trust with all your heart. It is worth reaching out and trying again. It can be a lonely world if you isolate yourself, let your heart heal and trust again. There is alot of life out there to live, let yourself live it. Take care and I wish you all the best for the future.

gem.