Depersonalization Support Forum banner

1 - 1 of 1 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
13 Posts
Hey guys, just wanted to vent one weird obsession of mine.

I have had DP/DR along with some depression for about 8 months now and the primary anxiety, co morbid with it, is the fear of psychosis.

The obsessive thoughts always revolve around psychosis and how I think a psychotic might think. So for an example, if I read on google that person, experiencing psychosis, might believe in "this" ,I will obsess about that thought, thinking if I could be able to believe in such a thing.

For a while, I have been extremely anxious and obsessed about seeing things that aren't there, since I read that hallucinations is a possive sign of psychosis. Every little thing in my vision, I notice. I keep thinking I saw something move in the corner of my eye. A fly in my room used to be almost unbearable. Recently the obsession has changed to a more morbid nature, where I fear the phenomenon of pareidolia. I noticed how often I could see "faces" or things in random object and patterns. Its not really a new thing for me, as I have always been seeing this as far as I can remember. Like when you see shapes in the skies or a face on the power outlet.

I know it is a perfectly normal thing that most of the population experience, and if I pointed out what I saw, other people would see it too. So it is positively not a hallucination. However, I read that pareidolia is also often associated with schizophrenia, since some of them believe these illusions have actual meaning and paredolia used to be a sign of psychosis in the past.

Since I read this, I have been obsessed with the phenomenon and now I see faces everywhere! No matter where I look, it is like my mind is desperately trying to find faces even though I don't want to. I feel like i'm going psychotic when I'm looking at a wall and can see small faces everywhere, even if its a distortred, crooked face, my mind makes it up. Every time I see two circles or dots next to each other, I immediately think of a pair of eyes. When I see a large hole or a gap, I immediately think of a gaping mouth.

The more I see it, the more anxious and obsessed I get. If I somehow manage to not think about it or focus on something else, I do not see it as much. I find it so insanely weird that I can't stop seeing them now, and it can really disturb my focus and attention.

Does any of you have or have had a similar obsession?

It should be said that I have no logical reason to believe i'm going psychotic. I have no psychotic illness in my family and I have been screened for psychosis by a psychiatrist 2 months ago and they said no.

Any help/advice is appreciated.
 
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
Top