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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi guys,

Im starting this post as a little blog for myself and others to follow my journey. My derealisation started 10 years ago after a mushroom and salvia trip (I can't even type salvia without my HR increasing and it freaking me out) at first I just felt derealised and weird. After a while it caused panic attacks to the point where in my first year of university I had to drink alcohol before leaving my room.

I'm hoping lamotrigine with CBD is the cure I'm looking for. I'll see what the doctor says, see my introduction for a full description of my symptoms. I think I have PTSD from the trip and now I am terrified of the derealisation feelings. I have severe panic attacks (heart rate hits 185 bpm).

I was given ketamine in hospital and I freaked out to the point they had to sedate me using propofol.

I'm training to be a doctor and I find it incredibly hard to work under the lighting in the hospital, my training is suffering and I don't want to put any patients at risk.

I am after an EEG to check for any abnormalities.

I'll update this as I go through my journey.

Long story short: I fucked my brain up using psychedelics . *The medical reason is my NMDA receptor. Here is a short extract from this document

https://scholarworks.wm.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1007&context=caaurj

One final theoretical model of depersonalization is the cortico-cortical disconnection model - the most wide-ranging and all-encompassing model of the three. The cortico-cortical disconnection model not only entails overall disconnections between regions of the cortex, but also involves cortico-limbic disconnection as well as what is known as thalamo-cortical disconnection (that is, abnormalities in the gating, relaying, and modulating of sensory information). It has been shown that disconnections between various areas of the cortex result from the blocking of the NMDA receptor, the receptor for the excitatory neurotransmitter glutamate which is usually responsible for the proper regulation of connections in the cortex (Simeon & Abugel, 2006).
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I spoke to the doctor and he is prescribing lamotrigine and sertraline, if that fails he has suggested ketamine infusion or psylosibin in a controlled setting. If that fails, he's going to use the rather blunt instrument of clonazepam/lorazepam/alprazolam.
 

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Wishing you the best of luck with the meds. Please continue to keep us updated as its very helpful for others too.

Do you experience emotional numbing as part of your symptoms or is it only derealization you suffer with?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Wishing you the best of luck with the meds. Please continue to keep us updated as its very helpful for others too.

Do you experience emotional numbing as part of your symptoms or is it only derealization you suffer with?
I don't experience emotional numbing I don't necessarily have DPD, it's exclusively derealisation and panic attacks because of that. That being said, my emotional stability is compromised by the derealisation and I do have moments of severe emotional dysregulation and lash out. I find it hard to move on from things, people being extremely unkind to me etc. But I also have ADHD so this may be a contributing factor.

First dose of 25mg lamotrigine I am definitely feeling a decrease of derealisation and a very new sense of "calm" but not like the calm you get from benzos or alcohol. An inner calm I can't remember feeling for a decade.

I'll absolutely keep you guys updated on my journey, I'm studying to be a doctor and will be going into clinical pharmacology so for me this is a huge career benefit to have insight into peoples symptoms. So I can be a better doctor and experiment with medications off label. I just want to help other people who haven't been able to find help for many years. I aim to be the doctor I wish I had.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
So the lamotrigine has been remarkably effective, so effective that tomorrow I'm going back onto my ADHD medication. I'm having another appointment with him and we are going to add another drug into the mix. 2mg clonazepam 3 times a day (I have a high tolerance). I'll let you guys know when i get onto it with a full side effect list.

Side effects from lamotrigine 25mg: None so far.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Major set back. 13.5mg slow release ADHD methylphenidate tipped me into a spiral that led to taking 2mg of lorazepam and 80mg of oxycodone in one go. Need to speak to my doctor about lowering my dose of ADHD meds.
 
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