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Hi I'm new to this so bare with me.

I first had anxiety when I was 16 and it was typical health anxiety which was severe I dropped out of school. I didn't have much contact with people and I met a boy who was 2 years younger than me who I quite liked. I got into a relationship with him and I suddenly was terrified to lose him. Don't understand this atall and never have but I think I was just terrified to death of the anxiety that had suddenly came into my life and I clung to him. He dumped me a year later I was mortified and as soon as I came out the relationship my anxiety completely disappeared. I went a full 8 months completely back to normal out with my friends everyday with no anxiety. Then I met a boy who I was MAD about. It went well for a month or two but he started acting really weird he was into drugs and heavy drinking and I didn't like that (I've never been drunk or took a drug). So I ended it as he said he was willing to give up drugs but that wasn't the case. He came back a few weeks later saying he couldn't cope without me was pretty suicidal and I felt extremely uneasy and went back into the relationship. This cycle happened for a year and it was pretty emotionally abusive until he took money out my mums bank account for drugs. This ended the relationship completely thank god. Now with my anxiety I felt fine until the breaking up routine and suicidal guilt tripping happened. I started staring into space for hours on end and it felt so good. And I developed chronic DPD. I split up with him 2 years ago and I've still got DPD. I can't get rid of it the numbness and lack of life is so bad. I'm in a new relationship and he's the nicest person I've ever met but the lack of emotion with me is so difficult I'm so numb. And when I'm with him the DPD is at its worse. I find it really difficult to maintain friendships and people are usually put off my extreme anxiety and DPD as I don't cope with it well and I'm really irritable, on edge. Does anyone have any tips as I really like this boy and don't want to drive him away? I would also quite like my normal life back without anxiety and DPD.

Hair Arm Eye Jaw Gesture

Sep 23 2017 08:02 PM

I know what it's like to be in a relationship with dp. It's hard to feel anything. I'm involved with someone right now but it feels like a lie bc I'm not really 'there'. While he is giving me sweet nothings I am somewhere far off. It rather sucks.
I would find cud on my recovery rather than pursue a relationship
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