[nemesis]

I?ve always had a niggling worry about the presence of schizophrenia in the past, but this has escalated to fear after the cessation of the meds two years ago. I?ve had increasing problems with disorganized thought; not being 'in moment' in a detached sort of state along with some memory problems. I?m also extremely flat emotionally, feeling unable to feel happy or sad when the moment dictates. Along with the emotional and cognitive problems, I?m also having issues with what I guess could be classed as disorganized speech thanks to my muddled thoughts and lack of ability to remain focused at the moment. I never feel 'in the moment', forever the space cadet. Both of the cognitive disorganisation and speech issues have been running down my self confidence and have caused me to try and avoid social situations where the symptoms are most exacerbated if given the choice.

Upon researching some of the types of schizophrenia I have found that the 'Disorganized Subtype' matches up quite closely with the issues I?ve been complaining about for the last couple of years.

Disorganized Subtype
As the name implies, this subtype's predominant feature is disorganization of the thought processes. As a rule, hallucinations and delusions are less pronounced, although there may be some evidence of these symptoms. These people may have significant impairments in their ability to maintain the activities of daily living. Even the more routine tasks, such as dressing, bathing or brushing teeth, can be significantly impaired or lost.

Often, there is impairment in the emotional processes of the individual. For example, these people may appear emotionally unstable, or their emotions may not seem appropriate to the context of the situation. They may fail to show ordinary emotional responses in situations that evoke such responses in healthy people. Mental health professionals refer to this particular symptom as blunted or flat affect. Additionally, these people may have an inappropriately jocular or giddy appearance, as in the case of a patient who chuckles inappropriately through a funeral service or other solemn occasion.

People diagnosed with this subtype also may have significant impairment in their ability to communicate effectively. At times, their speech can become virtually incomprehensible, due to disorganized thinking. In such cases, speech is characterized by problems with the utilization and ordering of words in conversational sentences, rather than with difficulties of enunciation or articulation. In the past, the term hebephrenic has been used to describe this subtype.

I havent suffered from any hallucinations, nor paranoia and I?m not really having any issues with self maintenance apart from the summoning up the effort required to be bothered doing things like shaving and selection of fashionable attire for the day thanks to depression, but the cognitive and speech context of this diagnosis seems to be the most accurate so far.

What I?m suffering from could be as simple as extreme anxiety mixed with depression, pronounced by years of poor cognitive development thanks to some poor life choices or even extreme Attention Deficit Disorder. Then again it may very well be schizophrenia. Getting an accurate diagnosis is what?s essential. I really don?t want to entertain the thought of having schizophrenia

Have others here had the same symptoms and same worries?

 

[Guest]

Reading your extremely articulate post, I'm convinced that you could not have a mental disorder such as schizophrenia. I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist but I doubt that people suffering from schizophrenia would be aware of their condition, would search its symptoms and try to match them to their experiences, would self-diagnose etc. etc. etc.

I had those fears as well. I think many of us have. Yet I try to tell myself that if I were schizophrenic, I would most likely be the last person to notice it. I've known someone who was schizophrenic and was not aware that he was suffering from it. He thought he was perfectly normal.

The one advice I can give you is to stop searching mental illnesses and instead focus outwards. You know how first year medical students are often freaked out when they learn about various diseases and they start thinking that they have them as well? Well I think some of us are doing the same in the state of intense anxiety.

It's just part of being obsessive and anxious. It will pass.

 

[Martinelv]

These posts always interest me, because it's not really the poster who is talking, it's their obsession. The poster isn't asking a question, it's the obsession seeking confirmation. So, I'm not going to tell calm your fears about becoming psychotic, (even though you're not....oh...damn), because it's feeding your obsession.

I'm pretty certain almost everyone on here has had the 'madness obsession', and scoured the internet looking for the symptoms. I know I did...I was convinced I was 'going mad'. Utterly convinced.

DR/DP symptoms can certainly mimic some psychotic symptoms, but there is a GIGANTIC difference between psychosis and neurosis. Most importantly, your reality testing is intact. It's an old cliche but it's true - if you think you're going mad, then you're not. If you were going mad, you wouldn't realise it ! You'd think everyone else was mad, or out to get you, or whatever.

 

[nemesis]

I?m certainly not worried about becoming psychotic and out of control as I've been stuck in the same unwavering melancholy state for far too long now. And to be honest I really wouldn?t know what schizophrenia feels like as I?ve never been treated for a mood disorder, and have thus never felt any other way. I'm in a horrible, dysfunctional state at the moment and the best I can do is try and find a name for what I?m suffering from in order to learn more about it and then attempt to defeat. The only way I know how to do this is both by conducting my own research and also asking around, both of which of what the previous post was prompted by.

If that was indeed my obsession speaking (thanks for dismissing me Martin :? ), then obsession is my last bastion of hope - all I have left to try and combat this illness when logic and rational thought has all but failed.

Thank you both for your posts. You?ve certainly made me look upon this from a different perspective.

 

[Guest]

the best I can do is try and find a name for what I?m suffering from in order to learn more about it and then attempt to defeat. The only way I know how to do this is both by conducting my own research and also asking around, both of which of what the previous post was prompted by.

If you NEED to defeat it by learning, then learn about things that have nothing to do with anxiety, DP,DR. Learn about politics, learn about Schopenhauer (ok maybe a bit too depressing...learn about some other intellectuals=), learn about yourself.... not your symptoms but your needs, your desires, your aspirations.

Someone once told me that when it comes to anxiety/DP/DR, you can defeat it by acting like George in a Seinfeld episode where he decided to do everything in a manner opposite from the one he was used to. As a result, his life became better. I don't watch Seinfeld but I got the point. When I start to obsess over symptom, I now tell myself that it's just anxiety and turn to thoughts on some other, unrelated subject. I don't analyze DP/DR anymore (or try not to) because I don't want to fuel that fire.

Think about what makes you happy. Don't say "I wish I could do this or that after I recover". Part of recovery IS doing things that make you happy, just doing things in general...not waiting....

Des put it best when he said that to act is to live.

Good luck!

 

[Inflammed]

Getting an accurate diagnosis is what?s essential

Can someone really diagnose the kind of problem we have ?

I am My own Savior...as for myself.

 

[kenc127]

A few remarks. Your post is way too coherent. A schizophrenic person would not have this type of insight. It is the lack of this insight that makes a schizophrenic a schizophrenic. I know exactly what you mean. Reading about that damn mental illness has been my undoing in this battle with DPDR. If you think about it, everybody in the world fits into the schizophrenic definition somewhere, if you want to go by the book.

The thing is, when you read about a schizophrenic's disorganization its not the same thing as a messy room or clouded thoughts, or even mumbled words. It means you are so disorganized you can't even put a sentence together, let alone a perfectly coherent post, as above. You go weeks without bathing and never change your clothes. You can't maintain a conversation. Schizophrenics will start a sentence talking about one thing, then by the end of that same sentence be discussing something else, and their conversations diverge completely from the original topic. You are clearly not there. An example of schizophrenic dialogue with a doctor:

Delusions:

?I was reading a magazine today and found the section that was secretly written just for me by Tom Brokaw. I know this because he told me he would tell me special things during the news last night ? he knows that I am very, very smart and will be able to solve some of the world?s problems if I can only get the needed information. Sometimes I don?t read the paper because Barbara Walters doesn?t want me to know special things ? so she will take my thoughts right out of my head, and I will forget I am supposed to have special messages sent to me. Or sometimes she?ll make me think that Tom is not my special friend. She even put a secret high-powered thought transmitter into my brain.?

Loose Associations:

?The problem is insects. My brother used to collect insects. He?s now a man 5 foot 10 inches. You know, 10 is my favorite number. I also like to dance, draw, and watch television.?

Neologisms (made up words that only the speaker understands)

?I made a movie once. It had lots of stars. The cameraman was my friend. The sound technician was excellent. Where are the mikes and cameras hidden? Is this logomouth here to get me nervous??

Clanging

?Today is the day that I say March, April, and May without delay, if I may say. High-powered transmitters permitters me to know no way. Yesterday was a rain delay ? a damp, lamp.?

Ok. This person is clearly not on the same plane as the rest of us.

--You're fine nemesis. Just don't read about that CRAP anymore. It is literally bad for your health. I only posted the above to show you how you aren't even in the ballpark bro.

Ken

 

[Guest]

I hear voices.

*tap dances all over thread HUGGING limelight...*
I'm special. Ghost = Chronic Undifferentiated Schizophrenia!

Ha!

Therefore! Ure NOTT! Ha...

Ahhh... A home

Wanna know what ghosts VOICES say??? "Give up!" (over & over) give up, give up, give up...

Nemesis,
ALL mental illness starts in Depression.
Depressed MOOD is basic.

Please buy.
St Johns Wort, a herbal anti-depressant, no 1.

I think St John's Wort comes in 1800mg. (From chemist)

Please buy L-Glutamine powder and have a teaspoon every morning for frontal lobe disorder.

Maybe even have soy milk etc. As toxins in diet = toxins in blood = poor brain function. + Drink water.

Hmm... Diet, toxins, Depression, L-Glutamine..

And, a mixture of "Fish oil and Evening Primrose Oil" from chemist. It's a mixture of both in one capsule. Because you cant concentrate.

It's like frontal lobe scattiness, attention-span, depression and brain starvation.

St Johns Wort is good..
Fish Oil/Evening Primrose mix is good.
L-Glutamine powder is good.

Your frontal lobe thing is mixed with the anxiety from DP. Nervy
And being prone to DP, you'll "think too much".

If you stopped "meds" two years ago
Ahem

You stopped "control" of ONE chemical..
ie Serotonin, Dopamine etc

When the serotonin (eg) "swings back", maybe the OTHER brain chemistry faltered in "re-aligning" and your brain chemistry is a mess as your brain tries to level itself out. I think it needs some help.

Your cognitive function is fine, but I think you worry worry worry
You need to calm down, but it seems to be starting to "eat" away at deep centres in your brain.

 

[Guest]

You have Schizophrenia symptomotology.

Depression is the CAUSE of your mood.

St Johns wort.

What you "describe" ISN'T the "paranoia" of Schizophrenia, but NEUROLOGICAL symptoms.. And the onset since weaning off Psych drugs suggests neurological malfunction ESPECIALLY since what you write correlates with poor attention span, cognitive haze, jitteriness, poor memory.. Sounds like neurological malfunction following cessation of Psych drugs.
You're describing EXCLUSIVELY "neurological" symptoms, not Psychiatric.
If you TRY "alleviating" the neurological symptoms with St Johns Wort, L-Glutamine, Fish Oil/Evening Primrose Oil and good diet, it will be INTERESTING to see how these "Psychiatric" symptoms fare

Having Schizophrenia symptomotology, is neurological in your case.. Erm you'd be writing like ME if it really pointed towards anything