[Guest]

I had the strangest thing happen to me yesterday and I have been worried ever sense. I am almost afraid to type it because people may think it is too weird. However this is the site to really say how and what you feel.

I was standing in my kitchen yesterday having my normal bouts of DR and anxiety that seem to come and go when my daughter walked in. I looked at her and my brain froze and I had a strange confusion come over me and I felt as if I was her for a moment. It scared the crap out of me. I started yelling at myself inside my head saying you know you are not her, you are you etc... but it really scared me. I thought I was really loosing it!
By the way my daughter is only six years old.

What could this be? I have had the awful who am I where am I feeling before but this was strange. Sometimes I feel as if my brain has momentary malfunctions. Almost the way a computer will receive too much information at once and stop working until you reboot it.

My anxiety/DR seems to come in flashes and waves much of the day. I can feel good for hours and then bam I will feel so strange I don't even know how to put it into words. It is like a freak show, everything looks and feels WRONG.

Any ideas? What do you guys think this is???

Thanks,
Sassy :?

 

[Guest]

sassy, i think this is just you seeign yourself in your daughter...cause , well. , she is YOUR daughter. i think this is a goo thing, and i hope you find some sort of comfort it this...take care

 

[maria]

One psychologist called it something like permeable self, I think it means that you're so unsure of who you are that you identify with anything. I don't know if this is exactly the same thing but I'm sure it's just a part of your illness, if that's of any help...

 

[terri*]

Hi Sassy,

You know, the bad thing about having this disorder is that we tend to take normal things that happen to other people and somehow distort them because we are, in fact, a bit distorted ourselves.

I agree with Robbie. Over the past many years of my life I have looked at my daughter and felt myself looking at myself. In a flash I could feel like I was "in" that body because my mind took me back to that time. It all happens in a split second. Have you ever heard the phrase "I see so much of her in you"? It is just a trick of the mind if you will. And...being scared of pretty much anything that goes on, we with dp/dr/anxiety get really thrown by such an occurance.

So here's another one for you. There are times, now that I am heading towards 50, when I look in the mirror and I will catch a glimpse of my Mother in my reflection. If I am having a strong day, I will hold the look for a moment longer to see just how much I am my mother's daughter. Now that's kind of a scarey one, but a realistic one none the less. I am my mother's daughter. I kind of do look like her now that I am older.

I really think this is just a thing that happens in the course of being human. The trick is not to let your head take you way out on a limb and scare yourself. You know, we have a great talent to think ourselves crazy.

I am sure it can be something deep and psychological if looked at from that type of view. I mean, if you start feeling like you are 6 and forget who you are then there is a probably a good chance you have a problem. But if, in the passing of the day, you see your little girl and you see yourself in her and feel a flashback to that age...well then, I think that is something that could happen to anyone. Or...is that just me? :shock:

I hope this is helpful in some way for you.
terri*

 

[Guest]

Sassy,
Do you have any known health problems? There isn't any way you could've had a stroke is there?

I ask that because when my grandmother had a stroke, she didn't realize it.. she just had a hard time doing "normal" stuff and kept saying she felt funny. She forgot how to put on her bra one day and said, " her brain froze up."

It may very well be just this Dp/dr stuff reacting in a new way but I would probably try to rule out any health problems.

Are you taking any medications? meds do weird stuff to me!

 

[Guest]

Thanks so much for your replies. I apprecitate it tremendously. In response to your replies I don't think it is a deep rooted psychological problem. I made a call today to someone who is a so called "anxiety expert". She seems to belive that it was an anxiety response. A "flash experience". She speaks to hundreds of people every year who suffer from anxiety, Dp/Dr and she convinced me that it is nothing to worry about.

When I read the reply from Spriggy re: a possible stroke, my stomach went into my throat. Then after I calmed down I thought about all the doctors I have been to and the tests I have done mri, eeg, ekg, blood work ups etc... I realized that most likely I am okay. The doctors have never found anything wrong, and I have never tried medication. However that being said, whatever it is that has plagued me on and off for five years feels very scary, and wrong. Most people would say there must be something medically wrong with you, but in the world of anxiety, dp/dr it might not be that unusual to have these weird experiences.

What do you all think? Should I go back for more tests. It has been about three years now.

Thanks,
xoxoxox
Sassy

 

[Guest]

Sassy, if you have had as many Strokes as you've had sudden and terrifying unreality experiences in the past several years, you'd be long dead.

You know it's anxiety and dp. You know that. If you choose to get more tests, you will STILL know what you know. If you choose not to get them, you will still know what you know.
You also know that NO amount of reassurance will ever be enough.

I've been there. And you know that, too.

Love,
Janine

 

[Guest]

Thanks Janine!!! You are right, I know you are. You are awesome and always have a way of calming me down. Thanks for your wisdom and dedication to this site. I have been reading your posts and really trying to do what you suggest, and I believe I am having a little more success.

xoxox
Sassy