[Guest]

i feel like i could just float away. that i am not really here. that this is all a big dream. afraid that it won't end. everyday seems the same like that movie groundhogday. i dream of a time when i could lay in my lovers arms and really feel the warmth and comfort of his presence. when i could play fetch with my dogs and run with them in the grass feeling the joy and energy of living. when my mind was focused outward on the wonders of the world around us. when i had too many things i wanted to do and never had time.

now the days are bland and strange. everything feels removed and untouchable. nothing excites or motivates me. i feel afraid and confused. i'm worried that my counselor can't help me because dp/dr is so complicated. i'm scared to death of being commited in a psych ward. i'm tired of thinking about "being" and my mental health. i want to live. i just want to live again. sometimes it feels like too much to bare.

 

[shadowness]

reading that explains exactly how i feel right now...

everything you said is that i am also feeling and thinking...

i am sure it will all go one day but we have to be patient for that one day...

it is so hard to do things when you feel out of control and scared of yourself...

i will pray for you and i wish you all the best...

i am feeling all this with you feministcat and so are others here...

take care and try and keep some hope in your thoughts...

 

[dreamcatcher]

i have the same fears....you feel that if you stop thinking about it u will fall off the planet.....or fall down a pit of doom.....

......you will not end up on a phy ward we are not insane.....if we were we would not beaware that we are not right....

...i hate the groundhog day feeling....like living each day til it clicks into place....then you get scared it never will....

....we all have to try focus more outwards....i know its easier said than done....but one day these symptoms will hopefully go....recoverey is possible.....it has to be

 

[Guest]

Hi feministcat

I remember feeling similar to what you describe. Sometimes i still do but no where near the level I once did. I believe it is quite normal for "normal" people to also have these feelings at times just perhaps not to the same extent as we DPers might experience them.

When I started to "come back to life" many years ago I remember how wonderful it felt to walk barefoot on the freshly mowed lawn. How the "juiciness of life" seemed to flow out of the earth, back into my body.

Looking at the experience of DP/DR through the lens of the "medical model" only has so much to offer.

Have you considered viewing your DP experience using a different paradigm? Maybe a Jungian perspective or the Mythological approach of Joseph Campbell? They both have proved helpful to me, and the Medical Model perspective has proved itself time and again as being next to worthless in helping me come to terms with the DP experience.

Bottom line. I once felt like you do now, and now i don't. Never give up hope.

You are in my thoughts
john