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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been thinking about this a lot lately - about how much has DPDR really changed my life pathway and taken away my true potential, and I can't seem to come to a definitive answer. Am I leagues stupider after having this disorder for the years I've had it? Would I have been a more motivated person if this didn't happen to me? I'm not exactly sure and bounce back and forth between "It would have been basically the same outcome, you weren't that much better before," and "DPDR has drastically changed my livelihood and changed me fundamentally as a person, it has had destroyed what I could have been."

What do you guys think?
 

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For me the DP, anxiety, cog fog, apathy all play a huge role in why I'm no longer pursuing any dreams in life. The dreams and aspirations are gone and I don't feel like doing anything anymore. I see all these healthy people getting ahead in life and I envy them. Sometimes I feel very guilty for not trying harder but some days I just feel so terrible. I was going to go into a creative job but now that my creativity is gone I have to settle for something easier with much less pay.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
For me the DP, anxiety, cog fog, apathy all play a huge role in why I'm no longer pursuing any dreams in life. The dreams and aspirations are gone and I don't feel like doing anything anymore. I see all these healthy people getting ahead in life and I envy them. Sometimes I feel very guilty for not trying harder but some days I just feel so terrible. I was going to go into a creative job but now that my creativity is gone I have to settle for something easier with much less pay.
It's the same with me. I have been working in a job with very little stress and demands, but also little fulfillment. I've been thinking of going back to school to try to get into a harder more demanding job with more fulfillment, but am scared it will be useless because I won't be able to keep up, and that the added stress will bump up my DPDR tenfold.
 

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If it never goes away I can definitively say that DP did in fact destroy my life. I can function okay ish right now but I'm worlds away from the person I used to be in terms of cognitive ability, creativity etc. Hoping that I can get back to that though, relatively soon.
 

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Also just to add - there isn't really any use in thinking about things like this. I'm trying my best to recover - I feel like I have nothing else to lose, right? So why bother with negative thinking .. just makes me suicidal. I know it's really hard to avoid but I think I have gotten better at changing my viewpoint. Because thoughts like "I've destroyed my future" are only going to discourage you :( I know it seems like the objective truth at times, but really, having that thought isn't going to affect reality in any way so it's better to adopt more positive thinking.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Also just to add - there isn't really any use in thinking about things like this. I'm trying my best to recover - I feel like I have nothing else to lose, right? So why bother with negative thinking .. just makes me suicidal. I know it's really hard to avoid but I think I have gotten better at changing my viewpoint. Because thoughts like "I've destroyed my future" are only going to discourage you :( I know it seems like the objective truth at times, but really, having that thought isn't going to affect reality in any way so it's better to adopt more positive thinking.
No there isn't you're right, but I've accepted that I will probably have this for the rest of my life, so I guess it doesn't bother me as much as it might for others. And I don't look at it as "destroying my future" I just thought "did it rob my potential in life"; I know for a fact I will have a future, it just won't be as glamorous as I would have wanted. But that's okay, and is actually common with most people. Our reasons for why our futures aren't the way we wanted them to be would just be different from most people.
 
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