[laserdog]

just a note on how i'm feeling...if any 1 can relate go ahead and reply...

basically after the dp returned i went thru weeks of feeling, alien, questioning , am i going insane etc....but i still was trying to stay positive and up beat even tho nothing felt like me.....

now i find myself feeling more like me mind and body in a way, not as much dp, but feeling quite low.... i go thru long phases in a day when i feel ok..until i subconciously check that the dp is still there....i still have lost my passion for life, no feelings or many emotions....but i feel more like its me doing things not like a robot or automated...

so i'm getting better i suppose with regards to the dp...but am starting to feel lower in myself......so is this a good thing?... if i start to get more upbeat again then i suppose i'll be back to somewhere near normal...

also i keep thinking to myslef....now i have felt like this, is it evergonna be possible to shake it off? (even tho i've done it before)

i also feel soft in myself, like i have lost my edge, and i'm being overly nice and feel slightly hyperactive.......no longer relaxed in myself...

on posts people say it might go back to a bad childhood! for me this isn't the case....i have been thinking about this, the only thing bad about mine was me!!...i was massively quiet shy.....and missed out on lots coz of it! which therefore led to me having loads of regretts and feeling down...coz i could neva go back and do it again....

but over the years i forced myself out of my shell....and until this kicked off again...i was loving my life....i started socialising, talking to ppl, walking tall, confident, relaxed in myself.....talking to girls with confidence, (b4 i wouldn't dare), playing sports, body building.....everything was going great.......now its like the person i built up has disappeared below me, and i've lost who i am! my past feelings beliefs memories good or bad,... gone!!

i know it will all come back.....its just not feeling fully attached to life....is starting to take its toll...... like i dont want to start relationships based on knowing what i used to feel...i want to ACTUALLY feel things again!!

sorry for the long post...got a bit carried away!!

cheers

 

[SillyPutty]

I think I know what you mean. I didn't want to go on until I felt better but I knew the only way I was going to feel better was to go on. Kinda like a
catch 22, right? If this is what you mean then just like me you know what you gotta do and the faster you force yourselve to move on each time you have setback the easier it will become.

Good Luck and Hang in there.

 

[laserdog]

yeah catch 22 defo!! on one hand i dont want to do it, coz
a) it dont feel 100% like i'm actually doing it
and
b)i haven't got the emotions attached which you need....

but then if i dont do it...i'm jeopardising my life when i snap out of this shit...

for example....before i got this shit....i was really getting on with this girl, i really liked her, feelings of happiness etc was massive.... however now i aint got any genuine feelings for anything.....so do i still "act" how i used to feel?...
if i dont i'm gonna blow it big stylee, and lose the best person that has come into my life....but acting how i used to feel is so frustrating, coz everyting aint the same....

i view this DP as temparary...so do i act thru it?...is it fair on the girl that i'm acting to a certain degree and not feeling anything?

any advice people cheers

this is fucking bollox

 

[SillyPutty]

You should definatley look at the DP/DR as temporary. Your true "self" is still in tact and will come back. And so you should "act" like you normally would even though it doesn't feel right. All the time in the begining whenever I would do anything or talk I would be thinking to my self
"what am I doing" because it didn't feel like me and "is that me talking" because it didn't sound like me. And trust me it is not decietful to your girlfriend to "act" like you wish you felt, in the end when it finally gets better you'll be glad you did, "acting" like yourself or even "acting" like what you want to be like actually IS your path to recovery.