Interesting, I never really thought much about my hospitalization because I'd had problems before it too. (for essentially my whole life)
When I was 16 I was in a coma for a couple weeks and had one of my jugular veins surgically removed to halt my disease. When I woke up I didn't know I had been unconscious for 2 weeks, I thought I woke up the day after surgery. I also didn't know how intense my surgery was. Apparently I was also in a drug induced coma after I had woken up. I was awake for some time that I have no memory of, during which I tried to rip out my surgery drainage tube and IVs, as well as physically attacked my aunt and nurses. Many doctors were needed to hold me down, and they ended up stitching my arm to a board to hold my IVs in. I do have one visual memory of that part.
I have no idea why I did that. I wish I could remember.
When I woke up for real in the hospital, my first moments after the dreamy ones felt incredibly CLEAR. I felt like I was floating around the whole time. Everything was clear, and I was just floating around mentally watching things. For a while afterward, everything felt weird and rushed. Like I could feel time physically pulling me foreward. Like wind. It wasn't actually bad, but now a few years after the surgery & illness I wonder if my brain suffered irrepairable damage. I had blood clots in my brain and well..everywhere. And what with all the drugs and the coma. This happened at the same time I withdrew cold turkey from paxil and trazodone.
I started to wonder a while after this if it was causing me to change, like I couldn't go back to how I was before because it was becoming impossible. But most of the time I just completely ignore it and don't even remember the experience itself.
When I was 16 I was in a coma for a couple weeks and had one of my jugular veins surgically removed to halt my disease. When I woke up I didn't know I had been unconscious for 2 weeks, I thought I woke up the day after surgery. I also didn't know how intense my surgery was. Apparently I was also in a drug induced coma after I had woken up. I was awake for some time that I have no memory of, during which I tried to rip out my surgery drainage tube and IVs, as well as physically attacked my aunt and nurses. Many doctors were needed to hold me down, and they ended up stitching my arm to a board to hold my IVs in. I do have one visual memory of that part.
I have no idea why I did that. I wish I could remember.
When I woke up for real in the hospital, my first moments after the dreamy ones felt incredibly CLEAR. I felt like I was floating around the whole time. Everything was clear, and I was just floating around mentally watching things. For a while afterward, everything felt weird and rushed. Like I could feel time physically pulling me foreward. Like wind. It wasn't actually bad, but now a few years after the surgery & illness I wonder if my brain suffered irrepairable damage. I had blood clots in my brain and well..everywhere. And what with all the drugs and the coma. This happened at the same time I withdrew cold turkey from paxil and trazodone.
I started to wonder a while after this if it was causing me to change, like I couldn't go back to how I was before because it was becoming impossible. But most of the time I just completely ignore it and don't even remember the experience itself.
