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Right after surgery...

3304 Views 9 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  Xu
Hey everyone...

I am new to this site, but just finding all of you here with the exact same thoughts and fears as me is so comforting, even though im not sure if any of you are real, or if this website is real, or what is real??? those are the questions i ponder every day. However, I never had this until a few months ago. Strangely it all started after i had a knee surgery. Prior to that, I led a great life, had tons of friends, a loving (although broken) family, and had just received my masters degree. Strangely, a few days after this surgery, nothing seemed real to me. I started wondering if maybe I really died during the surgery and this is some sort of hell im stuck in. I then started to wonder if i ever existed or if anybody around me is real. The thing that keeps me going though, is the hope that i will be normal again one day. See the thing is, even if nothing was real before the surgery, I had no concept of these things, and i led a great life. So If i have no concept again of it one day, then that will be just fine with me, and if you believe that things are real, they will be real. That is what im hoping for one day. For the time being, I will think of this as an educational experience, and one day, when i am normal again, life will be better than it ever has been before, i will be stronger and more appreciative of the things around me. I hope this helps, and again, its great to know that im not alone.
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Julie - you might care to read a book by Peter Carey, called 'Bliss'. It's about a bloke who goes into hospital and wakes up after surgery thinking he is in hell. Not in the fire and brimstone way, but in the way that he has 'woken up' to all the spitefulness and vitriol in life.
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