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Sorry, I'm deleting my posts on this thread because my rage about this issue is making me irrational. I need to get away from the rage and focus on serenity and rational thinking.

Carole
04.08.25
 

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Wow!

Bring down the tyrant!

As long as this is an endeavor based on the well-being of his employees and not to satisfy a need to personally destroy him, go for it. I don't know the crimes he has committed, but the worst type of criminals are the ones that sit in corner offices. That being said, proceed with care as you sound like you have been through a lot and your plans will most likely increase the level of stress placed on you...but as the greeks say "nail his ass."

Blake
 

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What an extraordinary post Carole !!!!!

Revenge. Hmmm. We're told it's a bad thing aren't we. Self-defeating, they say. Arseholes I say. When then is little justice in the world I say get your own back.

I'm slowly starting to realise that the disintegration of my marriage wasn't entirely my fault (I lost my job due to panic and boozing, and she threw me out on the street with no money, no job, nowhere to go, never laid a finger on her....loved her to death, tried my best), and last night - for probably the first time, I was overwealmed with fury and horrific thoughts of revenge. Apparently, although her public face is of a poor terrified little girl (big bad Martin, who, incidently, hasn't called her or even attempted contact since the day she threw me out and has moved 300 miles away), her 'friends' (who - incidently, she slept with one of their husbands.....FOUR days after they got married) have rallied around the poor woman, clubbed together to give her the deposit for the mortgage she wanted more than me......

With a couple of letters and a few well chosen words, I can completely fuck up this womans life. And she knows it, which, I think, is why she ran around telling everyone how awfull I was to begin with.

Should I ? I have nothing to lose, and one of my furies needs feeding.
 

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Carole, I doubt everyone sees your ex husband as this great man. I'm sure many people besides you can see through his bullshitting ways. Where is karma? I know personally everything I've ever done wrong has come back to seriously bite me in the ass. My life is a living hell these days and everything wrong I can trace back to wrong things I did to people. But for some people it's like karma doesn't exist. They can be assholes over and over and have these nice little lives. They should worry. My best friend and I were talking about this the other day. I'm no saint and I'm paying for it every second of my life and as days go by things are just getting worse. I'm rambling. Disregard this post. Basically I don't believe in revenge. I think people get paid back and I think it's just harmful to you to take revenge. Just wait and let him get it back. My dad abused my mom and lived this great life for years. Now he's living with my brother and everytime my dad breathes wrong my brother screams at him. My mom asked my dad, "So what's it like to come in the door and cringe because you know you're gonna get cussed out and yelled at?" My dad never believed depression existed when my mom had it. He told me he had never experienced it. Now he's on all these antidepressants and he's suicidal. I understand your anger and your hurt and you do what you need to do, I just don't want you to stoop to his level. Just trust me, I'm sure you're not the only one that sees him as the asshole that he is.
 

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Carole,
Like I said, do what you feel you need to. Just want to note that I think it's therapeutic for you to talk about these things. Do you have anyone in your life you can discuss this with? Also I really do understand as an outsider how you feel. My mom was abused and scared to leave my dad for years. When she finally did, she left with nothing. No lake house, or the apartment we owned beside it, or the piece of land in her name (she was forced to sign over to him), no cars, no kids, he got her fired and her nursing license suspended. And all this time judges and psychiatrists were telling her she was bipolar and an unfit mother and basically my dad was a saint. She just really got her life together about 2 years ago. I'm sure you and her could have a nice looong conversation lol. I know the connection with Alzheimers and abuse, but probably the fact that your mom suffered it has made you more paranoid about having it so hopefully you will be ok in that arena. Take care Carole. I'm sorry if I offended you. My thoughts are with you.
 
G

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Interesting post,Carole.

I have given thought to the subject of revenge in the past.

Part of me is attracted to the don't get mad,get even approach.

I don't think I believe in karma anymore.

I guess a girls got to do what a girls got to do.

"The strongest woman you know"no kidding,I'm scared.
At least I know who to call if I need a heavy. 8)

All the best,hope it works out.

Love Shelly
 

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Carole,

There's a redirecting therapy done by Elenore Van Winkle (who recently passed away), in which you redirect your anger to past abusers. I've done this, some, over the past year, and it is very helpful. Especially if you've dealt with real abusers in your past, as you clearly have, it can be incredibly cathartic. You obviously have a ton of pent up (and justified) rage towards this man, but it is doing nothing but killing yourself. Maybe you should check it out. Here's a link:

http://www.gocure.com/
 
G

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I can so identify with you Carole.I think a lot of us here can.
Animals do it to me every time.I actually feel physically ill when I see them suffer.
Not that I can claim to have your degree of emotional strength in other areas,I'm some what more pathetic :(

I also feel like two people,tough and soft.
It sounds to me like the old yin and yang. Male energy and female energy.
Personally I think it's a necessary combination for civivial.Particularly so for women in todays culture.

There is nothing like a good dose of male energy to get us motivated.
Perhaps the men I know or it could be that Aussie men generally are a bit more assertive?
Most of them seem perfectly cool about not allowing people to screw with them.

One can choose to take the pacifist,let it slide approach.
Sometimes it feels like it's time to be pro active,"go to the mattresses" LOL
Somebody said you can find all answers to life in the Godfather movies LOL

I tend to be a person who believes in going with my gut feelings(whatever that is).Ok, sometimes I'm wrong,that's life.

It seems to me that you've asked all of the keys questions of yourself.
It seems that you have concluded that this is not revenge for revenge sake.
It appears it's something you feel a need to do to regain part of your dignity
I respect rational people when they decide to take action in a manner that may conflict with their own and other's belief systems.
Sometimes the pull to take action can be very strong.

The people that wronged me as a child are long dead and buried.I don't feel as if I harbor rage or enormous resentment.
If they were alive today,I surely would not hold back with my opinions.
I would not cover up or pretend.
I would expose the wrong doer and not allow him or others to live a life of deceit.

All the best,Carole who sounds every bit a human being to me.

Love Shelly :D
 
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