[Hardy]

Hi all,

I'm from Melbourne, Australia, and i'm 36 years old. I've had depersonalisation/derealisation since I was about 17-18 years old, but it started really taking over in my early 20's. I've been managing it really well for about the last 6-7 years to the point where it has been barely existent, but in the last couple of days it has returned with a vengeance. Two days ago at work, I stepped outside to take a break, and BAM! hits me and takes over in milliseconds. I'd forgotten just how utterly terrifying it is. I was pretty rattled for the rest of the day but I managed to get through. I've beaten it before and i'll do it again. Then yesterday at work, it happened again. That total fear, the total unreality, not knowing what I am, where I am, how to interpret sensations, thoughts... just total chaos. I got through the day but have taken today off. Truth be told i'm absolutely terrified of enduring this again, but I know I will get through. I've had an very stressful few years following the death of my wife in 2014, and in the last few weeks I left the home she and I had together. Whilst it was upsetting I thought I had coped okay. I guess maybe I held it a bit too deep.

Funnily enough I was looking online to get some tactics and thought that connecting via this forum was a great idea, so I registered, only to be told I already had! Seems I had the same idea back in 2007 as I had registered back then.

Anyway, hi all. I'm more than happy to talk about my experiences. Even though i'm in the grips of fear and uncertainty right now, I know i'll get through it. But I didn't always think that way. If you're someone that is perhaps in the earlier stages and and experiences, do realise that life can and will be good again. You will always have this with you and it will sometimes revisit you, but you WILL get through.

 

[allison84]

Hi im from Australia myself
Sorry dp has hit you once again that would suck so much .
Im very sorry for your wifes death
How long did you experience dp the last time and how did the dp go .
Best wishes

 

[Hardy]

Hi im from Australia myself
Sorry dp has hit you once again that would suck so much .
Im very sorry for your wifes death
How long did you experience dp the last time and how did the dp go .
Best wishes

Thank you on all counts. It does suck. Things have been good for a long time, I was progressing personally well after her death and moving on with my life, excited for the future again. I know I will again, but this just feels like a huge rock in front of me, and so suddenly.

It has been so long since I had what I would call such a full on attack, I can't even remember when. I have had management of it down to such a fine art that I could ward off attacks way before they had a chance to develop. I would say it has been at least 7 years since having such a big episode. The feelings have always sort of been there, but managed almost out of existence. I think that's perhaps why it was particularly frightening... that it had been so long.

I've always accepted that it is likely something I will always have to contend with and handle, but it just floored me. I'd forgotten how utterly terrifying it was. I'm still scared now of more attacks, which ironically I know is likely to bring on more attacks, but I know it'll get better again.

 

[forestx5]

I had similar spells or attacks for 2 decades. They stopped when I started on SSRIs. Ultimately had an EEG done which showed I was likely inter-ictal. (between seizures0. I suppose the spells were relatively mild for seizures. No loss of consciousness. Still, it was nice knowing there was clinical evidence of the issue.

 

[eddy1886]

Very similar story myself....Heading towards 30 years of DP...Luckily its reasonably under control now and has been for a good while due to meds...

Stress!!!!!!!! Even subtle stress that seems trivial....Its to be avoided when you suffer with this condition...I would say your wifes passing played a big roll in your DP rearing its ugly head again....I think DP is triggered by alot of subconscious crap we think we have dealt with but really we buried and ignored it...Hence we "dissociated" from it.............This type of coping is definitely learned from a young age...

We basically tune out so to speak........

Take care of yourself and go real easy for the time being....Sure ya know the drill by now...

 

[Amina_x]

It seems like a lot of people get it subtly in their teen years then get it full blown in their early 20's.

 

[allison84]

Ive had dp dr on and off since i first started having panic attacks from 15yrs old im 33 now , when i got it in the past it last like 5 minutes but after the very 1st panic attack it lasted 2 weeks roughly.
It wasnt untill a year and a half ago that it become chroinc so i was 31 and a half ..
Sucks sucks sucks !!!!

 

[Pieke1990]

Hi Hardy!

I'm sorry to hear that DP has hit you once again! But you are right, you will beat it again.
I, myself have been suffering DP as well since I was 12. Just the same as you, DP can hit me in a millisec and it always takes me months to get threw those horrible periods.
But I had some amazing times as well in the past years.

But I want to beat this forever. I've been suffering DP again since September 2016 after my girlfriend broke up with me and I felt horrible again. Every little symptom returnerd harder than before. So I did what I had to do, went to a doctor, psycholist, psychiatrist, I go running 3-4 times a week, play soccer, go walking, I even go out with friends, and I travel a lot. But this time my DP/DR didn't go away completely, so I started to take meds: Welbuttrin 300mg and Airipiprazole 15 mg, but they didn't work.
So I went to the hospital where another psychiatrist told me I was suffering OCD, because I have these strange thoughts as well. So today I started taking Escilatopram 10 mg . It's a SSRI. My psychiatrist believes this will work for me. And again I have to go in therapy as well, but the last time it didn't work for me so actually I don't want to take it. It's really expensive.
My biggest tip to you is: keep doing what you are doing, keep working, I never stayed home from work because I was suffering, I believe it only will make things worse.
I started studying again in september 2016 (the same time DP hit me really hard) and actually, I succeeded for every exam, it's hard, I thought it was impossible, but I made it throug the first year. I still have to do two more, and I work full time as well. But we can manage those things because I'm convinced that the worste parts are behind us and it will only get better!

So, I hear a lot of good things about those SSRI's. I hope it will work for me as well! It would be amazing.
I'll keep you posted if anything happens as if I'm taking these pills. Maybe, you may consider it as well!

I wish you all the best ! You will get through this again!