Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey all...here at the beach and things are going pretty well. The Zyprexa seems to be helping a lot...I am acually going for periods where I am not feeling dp/dr at all...although there are times when I feel it hardcore. The biggest problem overall is that I feel the derealization, like this beach isn't real, how did I get here, and the feeling that "what's the difference, I'll just end up back home anyway, it's just the same old dull world." However, I am experiencing periods of happiness and connectedness between them. If I can not think of it for a while, it is better. It's just when I wstart to think of it, and then I think that it will never go awayk, all that cyclical thinking. I AM however, realizing quite a few things that may be causing some of the deeper feelings here. Issues with family and stuff. Another weird thing is that I have realized that last year at the beach, when I got home, it felt like I hadn't been there at all, and that it was all very dream like (vacations tend to be like that.) Part of it was becuase my brother and his fiance were going through all sorts of things planning the wedding (which is happening THIS year) so we didn't do a lot of the usual things we do at the beach (walking to the pier to get french fries, miniature golf, etc.) I have had a lot of dreams since then about having gone to the beach and not remembering it, the baech trip seeming exceptionally short, etc. I'm wondering if that is part of the issue here. So I guess the best thing to do would be to just have the best damn time I can THIS year and let myself have fun.